What Did You Fail at Today?

For most children, dinner table conversations include questions like, "How was your day? What went well today for you?" But for Sarah Blakely, the founder of Spanx, she was asked a much different question each night by her father at the kitchen table- "What did you fail at today?"

She recalls, "If there was nothing, he'd be disappointed. I think failure is nothing more than life's way of nudging you that you are off course. My attitude to failure is not attached to outcome, but in not trying. It is liberating. Most people attach failure to something not working out or how people perceive you. This way, it is about answering to yourself. Failure was something we sought out and not this scary thing."

I've recently adopted this notion of the 'Blakely kitchen table' in my own life and started asking myself that question each night, "What did I fail at today?'  You may think that this question could lead someone down the hole into depression and straight to Loserville, but I am finding that the exact opposite happens.  In a sense, it is actually making me more fearless, urging me to constantly stretch myself in all areas of life.  So often it is easy to remain comfortable and to continue doing the things we are good at, right? But contemplating what I 'failed' at means that I need to try more things.  

Doing pool work post-work.

In the pool, I can comfortably swim 10 x 100 yards on the 1:30 interval.  I've been able to hold this interval (uncomfortably at times), but for the most part, since college.  Tonight, I decided to try and speed it up a bit, aiming for 10 x100 yds on the 1:25 interval. I made it to the 6th 100 until my lungs felt like they were going to explode and I hit the wall right when I was supposed to leave for the next interval. Did I feel like a failure?  Not at all!  Today, it wasn't about 'failing' to swim 10 x 100 yds on the 1:25, but learning that I had the speed and strength to swim 5 of them at that pace; something that I would have never even attempted in the past.  Sarah Blakely's father was brilliant.

I am allowing this question to permeate my life not only in sport, but also in the kitchen, in my relationships, and in my career. And so far, I've found that it has only been positive, spurring me on to stretch and try new things, without judgement or criticism.  Allow yourself to have the imaginative freedom to envision what you want to create in your life, without the inhibiting fear that most people have of the fear of failure.

Trying new things in the kitchen...I took a chance and didn't measure anything.
Thankfully, these sweet potato energy balls turned out well!

I prefer a different set of wheels, but hey, I tried!

Sometimes, it all boils down to reframing and rethinking the notion of failure. If you want to change your life, change the question- "What did you fail at today?"

Just what I was looking for. #change #SantaCruz

Get ready to be liberated. Get ready to be amazed.

Good Stuff.

Yup. Sounds about right.

I saw this quote, and thought it summed up the past week and a half pretty well.  These days have been filled with lots of fun adventures, trying new poses, new recipes, new riding routes.  

So close to touching my hands together! #workinprogress

On Monday, I had the worst bike ride I've had in a long time.  It was my fault, my breakfast was sub-par and rushed, and I paid for it in a big way.  The fact that I did weighted squat jumps the day before probably didn't help my legs much either.  Mid-ride I found myself at the gas station, where I inhaled a Clifbar and a banana.  I actually bought a banana and ate it. (For those who know me, I hate plain bananas...barf!!) But desperate times call for desperate measures.  PIC was the best and she pulled me all the way through the wind and was so nice.  I was a mess mentally and physically.  It felt nice not to be judged, but to just chalk it up to another adventure.

I guess you win some, you lose some.  Yesterday was a new day with a new riding buddy.  My legs felt better, but they still had a hard time keeping up with the ever-speedy Michelle!  I think when you hear someone's story and it resonates with you, you can't help but become emotionally involved.  Stories of love and loss, sharing long bike rides with the person you care about most, and navigating the roads again- alone.  We climbed and cried together.  It's like going from riding a tandem and being the stoker to all of a sudden having to ride your own bike, pedal your own weight, and become your own captain of the ride.  I think once you've been there and survived, it becomes easier to hold space for others.  When your past pain can allow you to empathize and help another, it really brings things full circle.  I love that.

There is always beauty after a storm. Trust me.

Onto the recipes.  I suppose failure is a part of the process.  So I am learning to enjoy the process.  I love PK because she gives good constructive feedback.  There were no blueberries at the store so I swapped them out for raspberries, which made things taste less sweet and watered down the muffin.  And I guess extra eggs don't pick up the slack for not adding butter or another fat.  Even a printed recipe can use modification, I suppose.  Back to the drawing board for these muffins...

Lemon raspberry coconut flour muffins. Or, as I'd say, what not to do to a muffin.

And I've realized too how much I need the water.  I saw some parents on deck barking orders /coaching their kids- they were super strict, making them do drills and timing their splits.  It was a Saturday, for cryin' out loud.  A part of me hoped that the kids wouldn't be bitter, but rather that they would appreciate this gift and love the water.  Never would I think that I would return again and again to the pool for stress-relief, to calm my mind, and come up with my most creative projects.  There's something about the water that I am drawn to...

"Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again." -Joseph Campbell

It's a good day too when you find a piece of clothing that reflects what you love!

Thank you Express, for making a portofino shirt with bikes on it.  My wardrobe is now complete!

I can't believe that May is just around the corner.  Cheers to new adventures, connecting with good people, and growing.  In a few days, I'll be in the Santa Cruz mountains to continue this theme...

Monday Miles.

"May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view.  
May your mountains rise into and above the clouds."

-Edward Abbey

The view today from two wheels- just another manic Monday. 

Nozomi.

My dad just returned from a trip to Japan.  He brought me back a souvenir, and at first I was expecting some fun Japanese candy or treats.  So imagine my surprise when I opened up the bag and saw a beautiful necklace pendant that resembled some of his ceramic pieces.  It was packaged with a card that read "Nozomi Project."

A small but powerful object lesson.

Nozomi, translated 'hope' in Japanese, is a social enterprise bringing hope to women adversely affected by the 2011 earthquake and tsunami in Ishinomaki, Japan.  Nozomi women create one-of-a-kind pieces of jewelry using broken pottery left in the wake of the tsunami.  As broken shards are being transformed into beautiful treasures, lives are also being filled with renewed beauty.  The Nozomi Project symbolizes "Beauty from Brokenness."

Today, looking at the beautiful pendant made from broken pottery, it symbolized a greater lesson of restoration from brokenness.

I still remember those days like they were yesterday.  I would sleep, wake up from the nightmare, realize the nightmare was my life, and then try to go back to sleep.  I robotically created 'To Do' lists filled with meaningless tasks, just to give myself some structure in my life.  I numbly re-arranged the items that would have filled a brand new house into my old childhood bedroom.  I was so angry and confused- little did I know that this entire season of my life was teaching me a lesson in humility that could only be experienced with raw and absolute brokenness. 

It was 2006, and I remember sitting in the uncomfortable wooden pew.  I felt oddly out of place, even though it was the familiar sanctuary of my youth, with its familiar smells and carpet where I had grown up.  Feeling like an outsider, I watched the man on stage give an object lesson at the front of the church.  Most knew him as a comedian who also was a master ceramicist- I just knew him as Dad.  He had his potter's wheel and lump of clay, and we all marveled at the way he could effortlessly transform the ball of gray matter into a beautiful vase.  It was like magic.

And then, he said something that I'll never forget- "If the clay starts to get shaky or uneven, it can crumble down and fall into itself.  But as the potter, you simply re-work it and re-shape it- you don't just throw the clay away."  I saw him look up and I felt like he was looking at me directly in the eyes.  Tears streamed down my face.  This was more than a simple object lesson, this was a divine message from a Father to a daughter.

It was at that moment that I recognized and experienced hope.  We were not meant to live as broken shards, shattered pieces of beauty that "once was."  We can be picked up from the rubble, dusted off and polished until we shine-  Beauty from ashes.

There are times in our lives that will break us, shattering our spirits and our dreams.  While the world may tell us that we should stay in the dirt, shrouded from sunlight and buried under the rubble, this is simply not our destiny.  Remember that true beauty often comes from brokenness.  Sometimes simple souvenirs and unconditional love from a father can remind us of a greater Truth:

There is always hope, there is always nozomi.

Girl. Bike. Love.

Awhile back, I found this awesome website and am not sure what I loved more- the content, or the name.

I'm diggin' their kits too!

Actually, I take that back.  I like the name more.  And the simplicity of it reminded me of today's Tierra Bella ride.  Kimi and I have done this particular ride numerous times throughout the years, and although the route has stayed the same, each year, we navigate new territory in our personal lives- both the hard stuff and the easy stuff.

Like two peas in a pod. #edamame #TeamJapan

As much as I love pushing myself with the boys, it's nice to just ride for fun with a fellow Japanese girl cyclist, and talk about boys and life in general.

Team Japan 2014

The intensity of last year's training was so good for me- the bike rides made me tough, they made me cry, they made me realize that I needed to dig deep and believe in myself.  Yes, those are necessary in shaping you as a person and as an athlete.

But you know what I've found is even more important?  

Balance.

Rest, refuel, re-braid

Making daisy chains in the sunshine and grass post-ride...

And these types of rides are just as important.  Even if you've navigated through injury, hurt, dark moments, and fearful times in life, these fun social rides have the power to miraculously bring you back into the light.  Women say they need a spa day; I beg to argue that they should grab a bike and their girlfriends.  There's something about being outside with your hair blowing in the wind, as you accelerate up climbs and power down the descents that make you feel brave and empowered and liberated.  These rides remind you how great it is to be a GIRL who can ride a BIKE and how awesome it is to experience and realize LOVE.

Now that's something I'd drop my nail polish for in a heartbeat.

Work Hard. Be Brave.

When asked what his secret to success was, Casey Neistat distilled it into four words: 

WORK HARD.  BE BRAVE.

I love these simple four words and I work daily to embrace them in all areas of my life...

Always moving forward...

Vegan Cauliflower Crust

I feel bad for cauliflower.
It's like the kid who was picked last in P.E. for a team.
Having a superstar sister like broccoli doesn't make life any easier.
So I decided to give cauliflower some love and attention...  

Recently, I've tried cauliflower 'rice' and was impressed with how it turned out.  So I decided to step things up a notch and try it as a base for pizza.  Today at the end of the workday, we were talking about having multiple food allergies and how frustrating that would be.  I mean, it's one thing to have a gluten intolerance, but what if you were allergic to wheat, gluten, lactose AND eggs?  Not only would this make for an interesting dining-out dating experience, but it would be extremely tedious.  I can't imagine...

And what if you were just craving some pizza?

Well, here is a recipe for you.  Did you know you can substitute a egg in a recipe with a "chia egg" that consists of 1 Tb. chia seeds mixed with 3 Tbsp. of water?  Well, now you do...

Cauliflower is now officially the 'cool kid' on the block...

Vegan Cauliflower Pizza

Ingredients for the crust:
-1 head of cauliflower
-1/4 c. almond flour
-3 'chia eggs': make by mixing 3 Tb. chia seeds with 9 Tbsp. water
-salt and pepper
-Italian seasoning, basil, thyme, whatever other fun seasonings you feel like adding


1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
2. Make your 'chia eggs' in a separate cup and set aside.
3. Wash the cauliflower and place in a food processor with an "S-shaped" blade and pulse until the cauliflower is into rice-size pieces.
4. Microwave for 3 minutes until soft.
5. Squeeze out the excess water of the cauliflower with a towel.
6. Mix in the almond flour and seasonings and combine well into a 'dough' ball.
7. Bake for 20 minutes, or until golden brown.
8. Add your pizza toppings, place back into the oven and bake for 5-10 minutes longer.
9. Enjoy your nutrient-dense, plant-powered pizza!

Crewvans.

Pretty much everyone knows about my obsession with green drinks.

Limes have been the newest addition to my green machine. <3  

But not many people know that I've had a secret fascination with ultra-endurance events.  Badwater- the 135-mile ultrarun in Death Valley.  Or hearing the story of Adam Scully-Power, who was the first man to run the 163-mile Pan-Mass challenge.  The athletes themselves are amazing, but what I've found even more interesting was the tremendous energy it required of their crew to ensure the athletes' success.  For Adam Scully-Power, he hit a dark place mentally as he put his reflector vest on once again while he watched the sun set for the second time during his run.  During the last 3 miles of his 163-mile run, he shares about how his wife ran next to him, both of them crying, as she read texts from friends who had lost loved ones from cancer.  This was what he needed at that time- his crew knew it wasn't one more gel or water bottle.  His crew knew what to tell him in order to reignite the purpose and meaning behind his athletic feat, allowing him to finish those last few miles.

Last week, I heard Osher Gunsberg talk about these events and the importance of the crew- "Life is very, very hard. Everyone should have that van full of people driving next to them in the middle of the night saying, 'It's gonna be cool man. We've got boxes of supplies. If you get weird, I'll come and run with you. It's gonna be fine. I've got spare shoes- I can talk you through the hard parts.'  No one blinks that an athlete would have a crewvan of people - a support when they're trying to do an enormous task. Well get this- life is hard.  Life is an enormous task.  There shouldn't be any type of stigma attached to the fact that you need a crew. You don't do it alone. You've got a team of people."

I think whenever you step out into new territory that is challenging and unknown, fear can be paralyzing.  I've come to really appreciate my crewvan and I know that my success is largely because of their support.  PK listened to me brainstorm my ideas aloud and offered advice to me for the past two weeks, always encouraging me.  Another friend told me to set up my table "like you would your transition station for a race"- meaning deliberately and with purpose, since being well-prepared makes me feel less anxious.  Emails, prayers and phone calls with words of affirmation were appreciated so much too.

This past Saturday, I switched this...

The usual Saturday morning business (photo cred: AD)

...for this...

Giving my first nutrition seminar!

Finally getting some answers...

Here are some answers that I've realized this past week-

-You are your own worst critic.
-If you are seeking novel ideas and are feeling stuck, go for a run without music.  You will return with your creativity tank full and achieve an incredible sense of clarity.
-You know more than you think you know.
-If you set your intentions to be of service, to inspire, and to teach others in order to improve their heath and well-being, you will achieve all of that and more.
-Things get easier with time.  The first time is always the hardest.
-When you achieve your sense of flow, you won't need your notes. 
-When you don't need your notes, you are speaking from your heart.
-If you can teach from your heart and you see smiling faces in your audience, it's confirmation that you've found your passion in life.

And to me, this makes a good life.
(and also the fact that a few more people are going to try chia seeds and coconut oil also makes it pretty sweet too...)

Below is a clip from one of my favorite podcasts, "The Good Life Project" by Jonathan Fields...

Who is in your crewvan?  What makes a good life?  These are heavy and important questions, but definitely worth pondering...

Choosing Hope.

This blog has almost gone into hibernation- I am realizing that my last post was almost a month ago.  Hibernation reminds me of caves, and in fact, it is fitting, since I told three different doctors (with their different specialties) in the past month, "I just want to go find a cave and die there."  Antibiotics, medications and having no true diagnosis for your misery can cause a person to say some pretty intense things.

I'm glad to say that I've ditched the cave idea.  The antibiotics seemed to do their job, or at least I believed they were fighting something, and even though test results came back negative a few days later, the placebo effect had already kicked in and I was convinced I was better.

The sun helped me too.  I knew that being outside would help get me out of my funk, and a sunny mid-day swim and biking session did exactly that.  

Out of the cave, back into the sunshine.

This whole experience made me realize the power of our thoughts.  If you let them, they will spiral downward into a defeated mess.  I was barely sleeping some nights because of my symptoms, so the physical exhaustion did not help relieve any stress, which probably fed the inflammatory cycle even more.  I knew this wasn't helping at all.  Deep down, I knew that the best thing was to accept the situation, look for the positive, and focus on the good.  Choose hope.  I had to deliberately teach myself to change my thought pattern- going from contemplating a cave death to focusing on how I can heal myself, inside and out, with cilantro/parsley concoctions, drinking special tea blends, and working on stress management.  Just like in meditation, the mind can only focus on one thought at a time.  

I choose hope.

I just had to learn this lesson on a much grander scale.  Life is funny like that.

Never Gets Old...

Even with the new things going on in my life, there are things that always make me happy that never get old...

...like finish lines.
I love finish lines, and crossing them while holding hands with someone is even more awesome.

Unlike my last holding-hands-across-the-finish-line adventure, Ellen made it clear to me that she was married.

I am so proud of Ellen- not only for the amount of weight she has lost, but for how much of her confidence she has gained.  I had the privilege of pacing a confident, fearless woman who was not afraid to go after her first 10K finish, only one month after finishing her first 5K.  I high-fived her at each mile marker.  It was a reminder to celebrate every milestone that makes up your journey.  I couldn't even imagine running a mile pain-free back in August when I was hobbling around in my cam-walker boot.  So for both of us, it was an accomplishment and celebration.

Muddy miles. #moreHokalove

I feel like I'm making up for the 3 months of running I missed out on during the summer and cashing them in now.  I'm loving the trails now more than ever-  the awesome weather we've been having lately, combined with the hokas- always makes for an incredible run.  The trail time also allows me to catch up on my podcasts- because we all know that learning new things (metabolic efficiency, engineering resilience, biohacking your pH) never gets old either.

9 around the lake. 

And on my plate, here is a meal that I haven't been afraid to repeat multiple times during the week.  It's filling, balanced, delicious, and Whole30.  Boom.

Omelet with spinach, sweet potato hash and avo. #itstartswithfood

You know what else never gets old? Snail mail and phone calls.  In this day and age, it's easier to text.  But perhaps I'm old-fashioned, in that sense- I love going to my mailbox and receiving a handwritten letter, or hearing an excited voice on the other end of the phone.  I was lucky enough to receive both this week... 

Perspective.

"You can't see the world from somebody else's point of view and not be changed." 

-Lena Coakley

Hanging upside down not only brings good bloodflow to your brain, but your perspective of the world changes.  Naturally.

Change of perspective.  #inversiontime

I saw this video over the weekend and it completely transformed how I view my workplace.
I always considered myself to be pretty good at being able to read/intuit other's feelings, but this opened my eyes up to the many emotional facets that occur in a single place.

Hopefully this will inspire you to hold more hands, to look more people in their eyes, to smile genuinely, and to listen to the true emotions and the feelings that exist when people speak.  And mostly, to really care.

I know it did that for me.  Enjoy.

Biohacking, Observing, BE-ing.

After last weekend's amazing conference, I've been much more 'in-tune' with how my mental/spiritual health affects my physical/emotional health.  Believe me, I'm usually skeptical about these woo-woo alternative medicine practices, but after reading and hearing testimonials from actual doctors (including Dr. Lissa Rankin), I'm now fascinated with EFT.  I just need to nail down exactly what to say while tapping on the meridians.  Couple that with my recent obsession with biohacking (especially HRV), and a pretty busy week, I've become much more aware of my stress.  The awareness is a good thing.  Before, I would be stressed.  Note there is a huge difference between the two.

Yesterday's swim offers a beautiful analogy.  Because you know me, I understand things better through visual analogies, so hopefully this will help my readers.  It was pouring rain.  I like to swim in the rain...(remember my very first blog post when I was a baby blogger?).  Sometimes worry, negative thoughts and irrational fears are like those thousands of raindrops.  They are everywhere and they surround us.  We can choose to get caught up in them and start down the downward spiral of 'what ifs'... or, we can detach ourselves and just be observers.  

I gracefully did an underwater dolphin kick, streamlined with my arms above my head and kicked onto my back, still 2 feet underneath the water's surface.  I could see the tiny droplets of raindrops, breaking the water's smooth surface in a beautiful array of harmony and disharmony.  I observed the cacophony (like my individual thoughts) falling on top of the water.  But below, I remained in the serene calm, womblike and silent nature of the water, at peace.

These are the lessons that I am slowly learning.  As time passes, they make more and more sense to me. 

Eckhart Tolle sums it up best when he says:
"The mind helps us in the practical aspects of life.  However, we can observe the mind.  Just observe it as it thinks about the past or the future.  Whenever you observe your mind, you are no longer trapped in its past or future.  Through self-observation you can move into the present.  You are Now.  Observe the mind without judging it."

Speaking of judging...I have received some criticism about my new favorite running shoes.  Granted they are not the most aesthetically-appealing and easy on the eyes, but they sure make my feet happy.  They look heavy, but they are surprisingly light.  (looks can be deceiving!)  Ran 9 miles in these last week, pain-free.  The run felt like I was prancing on a cloud, which made me feel like I was on Cloud 9.  Not too shabby.  

It's pronounced Hoka O-nay O-nay, not "Hoka One" #newbie

Let's just say that happy feet + happy mind + happy heart = happy girl.

Emotional biohacking.

Recipe Modifications.

I'd love to say that I'm a whiz in the kitchen, fluttering around in my apron, mixing a "pinch of this" and a "hint of that," eyeballing ingredients and seamlessly making substitutions in recipes as I use what's in my kitchen cupboards.

Truthfully, I am anything but that.  I am a slave to the measuring cups and spoons, pouring the exact amount of vanilla extract and measuring that 1/2 tsp. cinnamon.  And substituting?  Forget about it.  If I don't have all of the ingredients, that recipe can wait until I go to the store.

I am even a tad jealous of how most Asian people can wash rice and use their index finger to gauge how much water to add.  What if your index finger is really short and you don't add enough?  Then it'll be too dry.  Too much?  Then it'll be too soggy.  I'd gladly measure out the water, thankyouverymuch.

So, what's behind all of this?  My type-A nature could be to blame.  I could say that I'm a perfectionist and I like following directions.  But really, the truth is that I'm afraid to fail.

Aren't we all?

I had the pleasure of hearing the amazing Kris Carr speak live this weekend in San Jose, where she talked about her own journey in the kitchen that began with her learning how to boil water.  She told a funny story where she was asking herself, "But what if I mess up the kale salad?  Then everyone will judge me!"  She spoke about how we are all afraid to mess up in the kitchen, but as we continue to experiment with creativity, we build skill sets and confidence.  As a result, the initial overwhelming fear of failing diminishes.  

Lemon coconut flour cookies with chia seeds ('cause, hey...why not?)

A few weeks ago I had some extra lemons and decided to throw all caution to the wind and modify a recipe.  I love lemons- lemon bars, lemon muffins, lemon meringue, so clearly, lemon coconut flour cookies should also be in that fabulous mix, right? I definitely thought so. Miraculously, it turned out well (read: turned out on the cooling racks and not in the trashcan)  and I had happy taste-testers!  My experiment with a basic coconut flour cookie recipe started a new trend in my life- use what you love to be your inspiration, stick to a good basic recipe model that works, and don't allow the fear of failure to stunt your creativity.

And so I have applied this lesson also to my career.  Although I enjoy clinical nutrition in the hospital setting, in a sense, I am now modifying the basic 'recipe' and expanding it to the community sector.  I am so excited to join the staff at Crufit to help individuals become healthier with better nutrition.  If you know me, you know how passionate I am about sports, nutrition, and assisting people on their health journey.  I am thrilled for this opportunity to stretch those muscles more, to take a basic recipe model of sound nutrition, and creatively adapt it to help active adults get healthier.  Crufit is a brand new studio in Montclair with top-notch instructors who specialize in rowing, cycling and TRX.

Crufit's brand new cycling theater- complete with wireless power meters that connect to the main screen!

In the theme of modifications, all you cyclists are familiar with the term RPM- revolutions per minute.  I just attended a 2-day conference this weekend and heard some of the most inspiring and thought-provoking speakers like Dr. Wayne Dyer, Caroline Myss, Kris Carr, Gregg Braden, and Davidji.  

No, that's not Moses.  It's Davidji. 

My favorite speaker was Davidji, who spoke about transitioning from being a crisis meditator to establishing a daily meditation practice.  Meditation is about accessing the space between- the space between our action, our thoughts and our words.  When we can access that space, we connect to our deepest, most authentic self.  How do we do that?  By ritualizing our practice.  By making it a habit, just like brushing our teeth.  So this my friends, is now our new acronym for RPM-

Rise.
Pee.
Meditate.

Like Lance once said, it's not all about the bike.  Go deeper.  Modify your recipes in life.  Get creative.  

Vegan Mac 'n Cheese (aka #yogafail)

First things first- I normally shy away from the word "vegan" since it's such a highly-charged word.  I would much rather prefer to use the term 'plant-based,' but for some reason, "plant-based mac 'n cheese" just sounds strange, not sexy.  

Also for the record, I had grand plans to go to yoga tonight with my favorite teacher Pradeep. His classes land late in the day and go until 9:30pm-ish, which mean I have to plan hard that morning to pack everything (mat, clothes, towels, makeup remover, facewash, waterbottle, snacks, UGG boots, jacket for after class, you name it...).  Once everything is packed in my car, and I am registered online, there's a 99.9% chance that I'll go.

Unless I get inspired.

Which is always the case when I work in close quarters with PK.  This morning she mentioned that she made a vegan mac 'n cheese recipe.  It sounded pretty incredible, and the creative 'cream' sauce piqued my curiosity since it was made from tofu, versus cashews or other nuts that most other vegan mac 'n cheese recipes called for.

I cancelled my yoga class online.  I went to Berkeley Bowl.  I got busy in the kitchen, and the finished product was almost as good, if not better, than relaxing into savasana at the end of an intense class.

Here it is- major props to my fellow dietitian and culinary muse, Praveena.  Not many people can say that they know an intelligent and beautiful plant-powered/ayurvedic practitioner/yoga instructor/dietitian, but I do.  And I get to eat lunch with her everyday.  I know...It's ok to be jealous.  Lucky for us, she shares her delicious recipes...

Meatless Monday at its best!

Vegan Mac 'n Cheese

1/2 pound dried elbow or shell pasta
1/2 c. water
1 c. unflavored soymilk or almond milk
8 oz. firm tofu
1/2 c. canola oil (I used a lot less; adjust to desired consistency)
1 c. nutritional yeast
1/3 c. soy sauce
1 Tb. sriracha sauce (optional)
1 1/2 tsp paprika
1 1/2 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp kosher salt
1/2 c crushed toasted walnuts (optional for topping)

1) Cook the pasta in salted boiling water until a little less than al dente.  Drain, rinse with cold water, and drain the pasta again.
2) Mix the remaining ingredients (except for the walnuts) into a Vitamix or food processor to create the 'cheese' sauce
3) If desired, add roasted broccoli (mix broccoli with garlic, olive oil, salt/pepper and roast for 15 minutes at 425 degrees)
4) Add the sauce and the cooked pasta to a large pot and cook over medium heat until everything is nice and hot, about 5 minutes.
5) Spoon into bowls, top with the crushed walnuts, and serve.  Enjoy!

The Orchestra of Silence.

Last Thursday, my friend and I hiked up Mission Peak.  We started early when it was quiet, and while traversing the upward slopes to the top, we would often stop, pause, and observe the view.  It was nice to be far from all the noise, and even the faint sounds of traffic were barely audible.   We cherished these moments of serenity, which so often become rare treasures in today's hustle and bustle.

Grateful to witness this beautiful sunrise...

After awhile, especially on our descent, many more hikers joined us on the trail.  Most of them looked like they were in high school or college, and their incessant chatter and loud music played from their iphones was a stark contrast to the quiet we had cherished earlier.  A part of me was disappointed that this younger generation was so dependent on their music for entertainment, even in nature.  

Made it to the top!
(and mad props to the person who dragged the xmas tree up to the peak!)

This experience kick-started my desire to run without my ipod recently.  I was on a quest to just soak in the sounds of nature, without distraction.  When you start to pay closer attention to the so-called silence, you can actually hear so much more- the subtle wind, quacking ducks, guns in the distance from the firing range, trickling water, your breath- 

...and this is a reminder that you are alive.

For Christmas, PK gave me "The Gift" by Hafiz, and it has proven to be one of my favorite gifts...filled with inspiring and beautiful words.

One of my favorites which has served to be the theme of my runs this week-

"Stay close to any sounds that make you glad you are alive." -Hafiz

Gentle trickling streams of water...

Cooling down to a cotton candy sunset and the sounds of the gentle wind...

True to my introverted nature, these moments of quiet have been the most rejuvenating and restorative, and I am craving them even more now with the loud and hectic nature of the work place.

...or a quiet trail...

Silent retreat, anyone?

Raising the Bar.

New year.
Clean slate.
What will you create?

Life is art. It is what you create it to be. Unleash your creativity.

During today's ride up the 3 Bears, I was surrounded by good company.  When I was tired and my mind was starting to fill up with thoughts like, "I'm tired now, I'll just spin and recover a little..." all of a sudden I'd hear Brooke's voice- "Fill that gap!  Work your way up to that wheel and then you can relax!"  I'd pedal hard, my heart pounding, and I could still hear her behind me- "If you want to, you're clear- you can pass them on the left and work your way up to that next wheel!"  Her voice drowned out my own debbie-downer thoughts.  I adopted her belief.  I went for it. 

Sometimes having another encouraging voice in your ear makes you better.

Coach gave me some extra little pushes (literally) when I lost momentum up a hill and on the flats when I needed to power up to the next wheel in front of me.  Just having that extra physical help made such a huge difference for me mentally as well.  When I was about to give up, all of sudden, I was back in the game, on the wheel in front of me, and still in the game.  On a healthy team, strong people help the weak become stronger.  They raise them up. 

Tangible lessons.  If you want to become better, surround yourself with people who will push you (sometimes literally) to a higher level and who believe in what you can accomplish, even when your own vision is shrouded. 

Someone asked me yesterday if I had any New Year's resolutions.  I don't.  But I have set my intentions.  2014 for me is all about raising the bar- in all aspects of my life- in my relationships, in my career, in my spiritual practice, in my diet, and of course, in sport.