Monday Miles.

"May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view.  
May your mountains rise into and above the clouds."

-Edward Abbey

The view today from two wheels- just another manic Monday. 

Girl. Bike. Love.

Awhile back, I found this awesome website and am not sure what I loved more- the content, or the name.

I'm diggin' their kits too!

Actually, I take that back.  I like the name more.  And the simplicity of it reminded me of today's Tierra Bella ride.  Kimi and I have done this particular ride numerous times throughout the years, and although the route has stayed the same, each year, we navigate new territory in our personal lives- both the hard stuff and the easy stuff.

Like two peas in a pod. #edamame #TeamJapan

As much as I love pushing myself with the boys, it's nice to just ride for fun with a fellow Japanese girl cyclist, and talk about boys and life in general.

Team Japan 2014

The intensity of last year's training was so good for me- the bike rides made me tough, they made me cry, they made me realize that I needed to dig deep and believe in myself.  Yes, those are necessary in shaping you as a person and as an athlete.

But you know what I've found is even more important?  

Balance.

Rest, refuel, re-braid

Making daisy chains in the sunshine and grass post-ride...

And these types of rides are just as important.  Even if you've navigated through injury, hurt, dark moments, and fearful times in life, these fun social rides have the power to miraculously bring you back into the light.  Women say they need a spa day; I beg to argue that they should grab a bike and their girlfriends.  There's something about being outside with your hair blowing in the wind, as you accelerate up climbs and power down the descents that make you feel brave and empowered and liberated.  These rides remind you how great it is to be a GIRL who can ride a BIKE and how awesome it is to experience and realize LOVE.

Now that's something I'd drop my nail polish for in a heartbeat.

Mosaic.

I got two massages this week by different massage therapists.  And they were two completely different experiences- not necessarily 'bad' or 'good,' but each had a unique 'thumb," so to speak, while working with my muscles.  One had an extensive knowledge of muscle physiology since she was an athlete herself, and I left the room feeling like all those painful knots finally got some attention.  The other massage therapist had a lighter touch and perhaps less experience, but it was her life story that touched my heart.  There's something about being completely naked on a table in front of a stranger that makes me ask really good questions.  It's like the act of being stripped down makes me turn the tables and strip down their walls and find out who they truly are.  And she was equally as vulnerable and answered my questions and was not afraid to unveil her past and share her story that led her to massage.  I left that massage feeling profoundly different- not necessarily muscularly-speaking, but my heart was touched, loosened, more malleable.  Both were amazing experiences but in completely different ways.

Even if it is the same activity, different people can provide different perspectives.  Today's bike ride with some new (and old) friends was the perfect solution to my off-season burnout funk.  It was motivating to hear some of their 2014 race goals (Ironman Cairns! Wildflower!) and hearing their excited chatter about race wheel deals and powertap machines reminded me of why I love this sport so much.  It's about having fun, getting better, getting stronger, getting faster, and having goals.

I'm still nailing down the last one- it's been a work in progress.  I know for a fact though, that a good goal for me right now is to look forward. I need to stop overanalyzing (Coach's wise words, not mine). 

I need to stop looking back in the past.  Forward facing, from now on.
Bring it on, 2014!

Proof that winter base miles can be fun!

Oh, you know, just doing our usual mid-ride yoga stretches...

                                 

Oh yeah, and new toys make it more fun too!

So yes, lots of work to do, lots of fun to be had in the near future.  For now, I am celebrating the joy that comes from hearing about different journeys, and being inspired by different people.  A mosaic, if you will- and when the light shines through, that's when it's the most breath-taking and beautiful.

Enter/Return.

The other day I noticed a certain key on my laptop- you know the one- on the right hand side, middle of the keyboard...the "return" key.

The one on my Mac laptop happens to say "enter" and "return" on the same key.  And I found how my recent trip to San Diego, a time that was originally planned to be spent up at Lake Tahoe acclimating, was a beautiful representation of that key.  Here I was, returning to a city that I loved, yet also entering a new space filled with new friends and experiences that I never got around to doing while I resided there for 5 years...

Kayaking at La Jolla Caves. Sea lions, seasickness, the whole shebang.

Tried out candlelight hot yoga for the first time at Core Power Yoga.

Lunchtime longcourse with UCSD Masters swimming.

Had to see what all the rage was about...and yes, it was delicious!
We definitely need Beaming up north!

And, on the opposite side of the healthfood spectrum...
This was my first time here.  I know, I know.  Sad, but true.

I went from a completely regimented schedule of train/work/train to now waking up, asking myself what I wanted to do, trying to remember what day it was, and then jumping from adventure to adventure.  In a nutshell, it was awesome.

The views were pretty awesome too.
Sunset at Pacific Beach.

Digested my oysters from Crab Catcher while witnessing the seagulls and sunset.

I didn't start riding my bike until after college, so I had no cycling connections in San Diego, nor was I familiar with any of the routes.  Thanks to Instagram, I was able to connect with some really amazing people who I already knew I would like, even without meeting them.  I already knew their cool riding spots, what they liked to eat, and the things they found important in their life, all via pictures.  It's neat to see how social media can connect individuals in the most non-creepy way.  To me, it blows Facebook out of the water.  Yes, your baby is cute and adorable, and with daily updates, I will be able to witness him growing up all the way up to high school!  So yes, Instagram rocks in my opinion.

Thanks to beauty of the hashtag "IMLT," it was an absolute pleasure to meet two fellow IMLT athletes and share a coast ride with them on their last bike ride before Ironman.  The journey we shared as athletes in such a long span of training months was quite similar, and it was a true blessing to meet and hug Heather and Shawn in person.  I'll be cheering for you both on Sunday as you rock Ironman Lake Tahoe!!  

Morning miles along the coast. (thanks, Heather!)

Thank you, James G. for hooking me up with Jim Bean (www.bikecrave.com) whose wheel I followed to the infamous VeloHangar bike shop and back around the Artesian road through some winding backroads of Rancho Santa Fe.  He kindly dedicated his lunch hour(s) just to show me the sights of San Diego on two wheels.  I loved hearing his stories of racing (before they had aerobars and tri kits) and was so humbled to share some saddletime with such an amazing athlete.

What a fun wheel to follow...

The infamous VeloHangar van where all the bike pics are taken...

Looking back, the 'old' me would have been too scared to step out of my comfort zone and bike with people who I knew were more experienced/faster in fear that I would be judged.  But I've learned that sometimes just showing up and giving it what you've got and having a positive attitude makes a huge difference.  When you reach out in faith, people are really kind and generous and take care of you.  And this just makes you want to return the favor to someone else.

Lake Tahoe this weekend for me will represent the duality symbolized in the computer key.   On one hand, I will be returning to Lake Tahoe.  But this time, I'll be entering the city not as an athlete, but as a spectator/cheerleader.  Yes, it does make me sad.  But as Felipe from Breakaway Training told me over the phone in San Diego, "There's always next season." (and next time I'm down in SD, I can't wait to join you for a workout!) Yes, very true.  My eyes are definitely set for next racing season, but for now, I'm really enjoying this current (more relaxed) season of exploring new things in life, love and sport.  Mountain biking, anyone?

Staying Balanced.

"Life is like riding a bicycle.  To keep your balance you must keep moving." 

-Albert Einstein

Yesterday was my first time doing this...

The adventures begin when the sun sets.  Chasing shadows and making memories...

And now I am fantasizing about my 29er, the dirt, the danger, and the dark...

Riding dirrty. Stoked to log some trailtime on two wheels...

The thing I love most about sport is how you can continue to recreate yourself, building on your strengths, challenging yourself still, and expanding your horizons in every sense of the word.

Looking ahead with lots of excitement in these bright and hopeful eyes...

Asking the Right Questions.

There was a dark period in my life when I felt completely numb, traumatized, angry and victimized.  I wasn't sleeping.  It was difficult to function in my daily life, and some people even gently suggested medication.  I was anti-meds, and found that the only breakthrough I had was through EMDR (Eye movement Desensitization and Reprocessing).  This technique miraculously allowed me to move on in my life by reprogramming 'triggers-' things that once caused a spiral of anxiety and stress were now considered harmless memories once they were reframed.

In essence, I learned to stop asking the pitiful and selfish question, "Why me?" and instead probe, "What can I take from this experience?  What has this experience taught me that can help me make better decisions in the future?"

Coach knew the hills in Tahoe made me feel like a victim- angry, weak, subordinate and questioning everything.  And so, before we rode the hills on the 3 Bears ride on Thursday, I was asked to reframe my view of the hills.  Instead of hating them, I was told to ask them, "What are you teaching me?  What lessons can I gain from you?"

With this new open attitude of nonresistance and surrender, I was able to relax and receive.  I allowed the hill to guide me like a gentle elder, giving me wise words that will stay safe in my journal.  Instead of being tense and angry at the bottom of the hill, I actually enjoyed climbing for the first time- I was hungry to hear what the hill had to teach me.  I even had some fun on the climb, spinning away and feeling much more empowered and stronger than before.

A view after one of the climbs.
Just like the sun's rays, the answers to good questions always penetrate through the clouds.

Even in meditation, so often people think about what they want. They spend their minutes focused on the question, "What do I need in my life?"

My dear friend (PK, you are secretly my guru!) challenged me to ask a different question- "How can I serve?"

Oh man, that changed everything!  All of a sudden, it was not about me.  It was about the bigger world around me, other people and communities, and how my life could somehow fit into that larger scheme and make a bigger difference.

In life, sport and spirituality, it is amazing how perspectives and judgements and attitudes can dictate our experiences.  All of these perspectives and judgements and attitudes are contingent on the questions that we ask ourselves.

So make sure that you are asking yourself the right questions.

Unfinished Business.

To date, there has been only one event in my life that I DNF'd. (For non-athlete readers, that means Did Not Finish).  It was raining that day.  And no, not the the little sprinkles that cause your hair to frizz.  During the first 5 minutes of the ride, it was like someone put me in the shower and turned the water on full blast.  The torrential downpour was so bad that I remember asking myself, "Which is safer? Having the rain fall into my eyes and risk having my contacts fall out, or ride with my Oakleys and perform a self-windshield-wiper action with my fingers every few minutes?"

After descending some hills, gripping my brakes fully, and still rolling out into the street due to lack of traction, I quit after the first rest stop.  I didn't even make it to mile 20. 

I knew this was the wise decision, the safer decision.  But still...

You know the free t-shirts you get after completing events?  In 2009, I had pre-ordered a size for the guy I was with at the time, since I know that in this sport, it takes two.  It killed me because he wore it all the time.  Hey, it's just a shirt, right?  But it secretly bothered me because it was a reminder of the fact that I really hadn't successfully accomplished the Grizzly Peak Century- I had only grabbed a few pretzels and GU gels at the first rest stop and called it a day.

At the Vineman awards ceremony- with the GPC shirt.  WHYYYY?

Needless to say, I had unfinished business with the GPC.  To be honest, I was dreading it.  I was dreading the hills, the elevation (8,600 ft and change), 102 miles...but I wanted to prove to myself that I could rewrite the ending to this story, even a few years later.

And yes, this year was very different.  Wolfie and Hulk fed me an awesome dinner and kept my spirits high on Saturday night, and Stinger packed my bike up the day before so I could just shimmy over in my chamois early at o'dark-thirty without worrying about bike logistics.  I had good company up the hills, fun playtimes of descending down the hills, and overall, felt pretty amazing.  Some parts were more difficult than others (McEwan Road- cough, cough), but being surrounded with positive friends was a huge determining factor in how the day unfolded.

At one point, we rode past the San Pablo refineries.  The scenery was drab and overall devoid of nature and life.  

Definitely not like riding through the vineyards!

The lack of beautiful scenery made me even more appreciative of the beautiful green landscape, rolling hills, and blue sky that normally fills our sights during our rides. 

The usual. I know. It's ok to be jealous.

I noticed the parallel in my own life.  I had to witness the ugly times to really appreciate the beauty I am now surrounded by with my fellow friends and teammates. 

Choo-choo! Riding the Stinger Train.
Notice the difference in our expressions. haha!

Finished business.

An epic ride with epic teammates calls for an epic beer.

I no longer fear this ride, the distance, or the elevation.  This was a lesson that you can re-write the ending to a story.  The inspiration and courage can be channeled from the people you choose to surround yourself with, and also from within you.  

But it is you who ultimately holds the pen. 

Now, how do I order extra 2013 GPC finisher t-shirts?

Who Do You Love?

At tonight's bike/run session, Coach mentioned his Aussie friend who had managed to mount his expensive bike above the headboard in the bedroom.  The visual made me laugh, and also reminded me of this great quiz written by Joe Kita that I had read in Bicycling magazine a few years back.  It was so perfect for me during that time in my life that I had actually torn it out and saved it.  I tried searching for the actual quiz online but couldn't locate it.

Fortunately, I had filed away the hard copy of the quiz, and it luckily survived various moves and relationships in between... 

For those of you in relationships, these are the hard questions to ask yourself... For each question, answer "bike" or "spouse."  If both apply, mark both.  If neither applies, move on to the next question.  If you're not married, substitute "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" for spouse.  At the end, calculate which entity receives more of your affection.  And I suppose if they both tie,  you can mount your bike above the headboard....

1. I'll never forget the first time I saw you.
2. I wanted you instantly.
3. I often find myself daydreaming about you.
4. There's more than one photo of us together on my desk.
5. I love showing you off to my friends.
6. My friends often remark how attractive you are.
7. In a typical week, we spend five or more hours of quality time together.
8. When you're around, I often look at you with admiration and longing.
9. In the last 3 months, I've spent more than $250 on you.
10. I desperately want to take you to Italy.
11. Our last ride lasted more than an hour.
12. It's thrilling how you respond beneath me.
13. I would never let anyone else ride you.
14. You make my heart beat faster.
15. You make me feel young.
16. You have taken me places and shown me things I never thought I would see.
17. When I'm alone with you, I'm at peace with the world.
18. You were made for me.
19. I can't live without you.
20. I will never upgrade to a newer model.

Pencils down.  Now break up or ride your bike accordingly.

Small Wins.

It was around mile 70 when I could start to feel the tears welling up in my eyes.  My legs felt like lead.  I was dropped and watched the rest of the group ride away.  Last week at this same hill, I felt so good.  This week I could barely pedal my bike.

Keith dropped back and as I slowly rolled up to him he asked, "How are you feeling?"
It was hard to breathe because I was crying.  "I'm having a hard time.  Today is a bad bike day."

Yes, this did happen.

With the physically and mentally challenging day I had experienced, I was perfectly fine riding back at my own pace since we were only 10 miles away.  His answer surprised me.  "You didn't work your a$$ off for 70 miles to ride home alone.  We're all gonna ride back together."

The last 10 miles were a tangible reminder that in life we are never alone- there are people who act as our steady wheels, shielding and blocking the wind from us so we can arrive at our destination in one piece.

Was able to do this with the wisdom of my teammates and coaches.

In his book The Power of Habits, Charles Duhigg presents the concept of "small wins."  A huge body of research has shown that small wins have enormous power.  Once a small win has been accomplished, it fuels transformative changes that favor another small win. This chain reaction and momentum that is created can convince people that bigger achievements are obtainable.  Even in difficult or challenging times, this momentum still continues to propel you forward.  Pyschologists refer to this as the "science of small wins." The concept applies specifically to business and work models, but I found it can equally apply to sport. 

Thinking back on past training workouts, I rarely remember the easy, good days.  It's those hard days; the ones that really made a dent physically and mentally- that I can recall vividly. 

I can remember the first time I climbed through Morgan Territory, feeling the lactic acid in my legs, and with each turn, seeing the pitch in the road curve ever so slightly upward.  Countless times I contemplated getting off my bike to "stretch" (aka. catch my breath).  But I didn't.  I kept chugging onward.  I kept moving forward.  And I remember how that ride taught me that my little legs have more stamina than I give them credit for.

Or that steep little climb right at the top of Mt. Diablo.  You know, the one where you want to zigzag your bike to offset the grade percentage, or walk your bike up, or kill whoever constructed the road at such an angle?  Yes, these are the rides I remember.  These are my "small wins."

Today's ride distance and the yummy Wolf food that helped fuel me.

Physically, there was nothing "winning" about this ride today.  But it taught me that it is important to finish what you set out to do, and there are people who look after you and help you reach your goal.  During Ironman on the lonely parts of the course when it starts to feel hard, these are the moments that you recall.  This recollection of "small wins"- the times when you resisted the temptation to quit, moved past it and finished intact- provides the momentum that fuels you to that finish line.

Today at mile 70 I said that it was a bad bike day.
I was wrong.
Today was a small win.

Trusting the Wheel in Front of You

Mid-ride stretch break overlooking Skyline. Clearly I am over my cold.

Today was my second ride with M, and I was able to sit behind his wheel for a bit and learn his riding style.  One of the basic skills of cycling is learning how to ride in a pace line and how to draft.  Stay close.  Don't overlap wheels.  When a hill is coming, allow extra room when the rider in front stands. Point out potholes.  Don't slam on your brakes.  Steady, Freddy.

Yellow Jacket and his bike...it stings when he drops me on the hills.

Early on as I started road cycling, I was lucky to be mentored by a competitive cyclist.  I trusted his wheel; I could relax an inch behind his wheel, tucked in, knowing he would keep a steady pace and not do anything abrupt.  His understanding of the road was similar to mine; I never found myself looking beyond his shoulder to anticipate changes in the road up ahead.  We rode hundreds of miles together, each taking our separate pulls, but feeling like a single unit. 

Moving up north allowed me to ride with different cycling groups, and it is always a challenge to figure out which wheels I can trust and which wheels to avoid. I've almost crashed riding behind riders who slammed on their brakes, and there are those who nonsensically  pointed out every little piece of debris in the road.  Their wheels are ones who I give myself a lot of space between, and honestly it is exhausting and stressful to follow behind them because I'm in a constant state of hyperawareness and anticipation.

Life has its parallels.

Drafting off someone's wheel requires an immense amount of trust from you.  You will learn who you can work with and who you can't.  It takes time to build trust and rapport; to develop compatibility.  Unfortunately, sometimes a wheel you trusted will do something out of the ordinary, resultantly causing you to crash.

Is it better to ride into the headwind alone?  Or take the chance and develop a sense of trust with the rider in front of you?

Solo base-building winter miles.  a.k.a. Riding into the headwind alone.

The choice is always yours.  But choose your wheels carefully.

Remember the Wonder

Enjoying the gorgeous view of Skyline after climbing Pinehurst

    
    Last Sunday afternoon, I was cresting the top of Redwood Road on my bike when I spotted 2 bikes laying on the side of the road.  I could see one figure sitting down and one hovering over him.
    Immediately, my heart began to race.  My legs were thoroughly trashed from the mileage I had already ridden that day, and I had only 2 Clif Shotblocks left and was running low on water.  I calculated how long it would take me to descend into an area with decent cellphone reception to call 911.
    From a distance, I heard a voice-
    "Um, excuse me, Miss?"
    "Yes! How can I help?  Are you guys ok?  What do you need?" I shouted as I climbed towards them.  I quickly crossed over to the other side of the road, only to be met with young faces, dressed in cotton t-shirts and shorts, perfectly unharmed.
    "Oh yeah.  We're fine.  I was wondering if you could please take a picture of me and my friend." 
    Phew! Everyone was ok.
    "How old are you guys?" I inquired once my heartrate returned to normal.
    "We're 14 years old.  We rode all the way from Orinda.  So far, we've ridden 25 miles!"  The boy couldn't have shown me a prouder grin.  "We're heading to a bike shop in Castro Valley.  It's our longest ride yet!  Oh, and can you make sure you get the lake in the background when you take the picture?  Thanks."


    After I had snapped their picture, we chatted for a bit.  I applauded them on their mileage and they shared how they were interested in road biking and cyclocross. 
    "How much does your bike weigh?  What size tires are those?" they asked inquisitively.  I laughed to myself, as I could only imagine them later on in life, like the stereotypical cyclists who starred in those YouTube videos of "Sh*t Cyclists Say."


    It was endearing, to say the least, to see these two young boys adventurously making their way to new places via bicycles, and capturing it all on camera.  I recognized in them the initial excitement and wonder I once had felt the first time I experienced the world from a bicycle.  


    How many times had I ridden past that same exact place and instead been focused on my leg turnover and cadence, making sure that I was in the correct heartrate zone, or trying my best not to get dropped by the other riders?  I wanted to take a picture of these two adorable boys, but felt that could be considered somewhat stalker-ish, so instead I savored the important lessons these young 14 year-olds taught me in our brief conversation....

• Once in awhile, take a break and enjoy the beauty of your surroundings.
• Stay inspired.
• Recognize how far you've come already while still courageously moving forward to the places you want to go.
• Enjoying the sunshine on your bike sure beats playing Xbox inside.
• Even if you've been riding your bike for years and have logged thousands of miles, always remember the wonder.