Blurred Lines.

Lines are complex things.  For the most part, they act as protective boundaries.  But I've discovered in life that sometimes they can become self-limiting.  These lines exist in our personal, professional, and athletic realms for a reason and need to be respected, but it saddens me when protectiveness trumps trust.

Sport has a funny way of blurring those lines.  I've both gained and lost amazing friendships from crossing those lines.  I've worked in companies where the Top Dogs had minimal interaction with ancillary staff.  To a certain degree, I understand that.  So I am extremely thankful for those professionals who do their job and save lives at work, yet are not afraid to ditch the white lab coat after hours and join me for a trail run.  Recently, I was so proud to witness my new running buddy triple the maximum distance he had ever done in a single run with me.  As we were sweating it out and navigating the terrain together, I was able to get to know not only an incredible doctor, but an incredible person.

If you're going to run, run around the whole lake.
Right?

I love how sport can obliterate job titles and age gaps.  In the water or on the road, status doesn't matter.  Everyone just is.  I recall one time in San Diego when I shared a lane with the CEO of Triathlete magazine.  I remember seeing him in an editorial meeting just a few days before, commanding authority while the rest of us scribbled down notes silently.  However, in the water, status didn't matter- we were just two swimmers trying to beat the pace clock.

This Saturday, I'm racing my very first 5K open water swim.  I'm excited to challenge my "redline/I'm-about-to-blow-up" line.  According to Coach, it only really exists in my head.  I must say, however, that "the line" seems very real when I watch Hulk effortlessly swim 2 full body lengths in front of me and I can't catch him to save my life.  I'm deciding now that I'm not going to be scared, I'm going to be curious...

This makes it seem so....easy.

I'll find out the Truth on Saturday.  It's time to get out of my head, get uncomfortable, and obliterate that fictitious line.

The start of our 10 mile time trial.
Clearly I like to cross lines. (This was an honest mistake, I promise.)

Now these are some lines I need to pay attention to for Saturday's swim. We do this loop twice.
Hopefully I can swim in a straight line!

In 15 short weeks, this is the open water I'll be navigating-
Kings Beach, Lake Tahoe.

Lines- sometimes it leaves me wondering how life and sport would be without them.  It seems fitting too, that with all this talk about blurred lines, this currently happens to be my favorite song right now and has been playing nonstop on the iPod...

What ARE You?

Last week, I was asked this question three times.  Three times!  In one week.  I was never asked this on a trail, but if and when it happens, I now know how to appropriately respond.

Memories Don't Die.

May 27th.
19 years ago, my fellow classmate, Jenny Lin, was tied up and stabbed to death in her home.  I still remember that morning, walking outside to grab the morning paper.  My hands were shaking as I read the headlines splattered across the front page of the newspaper.  It seemed unreal.  She was the poster child of a perfect student and a perfect daughter- an accomplished musician, a straight-A student, and a kind friend.  It was a month before our 8th grade graduation.  We had the same Birkenstock sandals.

To this day, no one has been arrested.  There are many unanswered questions.  I sometimes wonder who she would have grown up to be professionally and what those amazingly raw talents at the tender age of 14 would have developed into.  Her legacy will always remain- her smile, her bangs cut straight across her face, the music she loved and created, and the friends she kept.

Whenever this day rolls around, I remember.  To me, this day serves as a candid reminder that life is short and so often can be unfairly stripped away. 

Hug those you love.  Don't be afraid to vocalize your feelings and tell those who you admire how valuable they are to you.

Some of my best #bananaart yet...

Live wide.
Love deep.
Because you really never know when your last day on this earth will be.

More fun. More plants.

After a fun swim sesh this morning (it wasn't exactly fun, but it was fun to see how much faster Coach can float than the rest of us mortals) , unfortunately there was this...

Seen in Alameda before my haircut. 

...because I had a fun post-birthday, post-Mother's Day date reserved for my mom.  We headed to HMB for the day where my obsession with plants was further exacerbated by our day's outing.

Farmers markets make me so happy!  The lady behind me, not so much...

Farmer's market finds.  I just cooked up the red chard and it was amazing.

Bought this today. If you're gonna be plant-powered, you might as well be sexy!

Just some of the hilarious recipes inside...

Picked up 2 new succulent plants from the nursery to remind me to live a succulent life.
Nah, just kidding.  It's only because succulents are more likely to survive at my place.
I like to think that I have a green thumb.
But it's really just golden tan.

Tomorrow is race day for Wolfie!  I'm excited to see her race since I've seen her put the work in day after day, and I know she is hungry to gobble up more prey on the course tomorrow.

Just kidding, that's not Wolfie!

The real Wolfie and Shadow (as evidenced by our race bibs)

The alarm is set for 3 am, which means bedtime is now...

Being Passionate- about plants.

I stood there in my white lab coat.  He sat on the bed in his hospital gown, grasping his "Patient Belongings" bag as to silently send a message- "Keep it quick, lady, I'm getting out of here soon."

He was getting ready to leave.
I was getting ready to teach my usual "nutrition for weight loss" education, since that was the reason I was summoned to his room before he was discharged.

I could sense his body stiffen; he was bracing himself for the usual "Don't eat sugar, don't drink sodas, don't eat fast food, don't eat ice cream, don't have a life, blah, blah, blah."

I took a deep breath and threw him a curveball.  

"Eat more plants."  I paused, awaiting his reaction.  Immediately, he relaxed.

"Yes, just eat more plants.  It's that simple." I went on to explain that when you fill your diet with more nutrient-dense plant foods, you just feel better and after awhile, your cravings for less nutritious and processed foods begin to diminish.  I told him parts of my own story.  We actually had a conversation about food versus me preaching to deaf ears.

And at the end of it all, he said something to me that I received as one of the biggest compliments-  "Wow. You are really passionate about plants."

It hit home because passion is something that you can't fake.  There are some things in life that give you a heartbeat and that you truly believe in, and when those things happen to go hand-in-hand with your profession, it confirms that you are on your right path.  And it's true, I am really passionate about plants.  Recently, I've shifted my diet to becoming even more plant-based, especially after watching the documentary Vegecated.  After purchasing my Vitamix, it's been much easier incorporating more plants into my diet on a daily basis, and I've definitely felt a huge change in my mood, my outlook on life (I'm more positive!), and my recovery from workouts.

I eat almost 4 bunches per week. Kale-lujah! #kalesale

Who said salads can't be full-blown meals?
Who knew that cutting cherry tomatoes and flipping them upside down = <3 

Homemade roasted beet chips in coconut oil- good for endurance athletes!

Tonight's creation- Amaranth (a pseudograin high in protein, iron, calcium, Vitamin E and magnesium!) Tabouli salad... Thanks to PK for supplying the amaranth!

Plants are life-giving.
Plants make you feel happier and more vibrant.
Plants give you more energy and mental clarity.

So often, people are told to remove things from their diets to become healthier.  I agree to a certain point, but I believe that this triggers a sense of restriction that could lead to further bingeing.  Perhaps it is easier for people to keep things the same and just start by adding more plants into their diet.

Drink a green drink in the morning.
Add a salad to your lunch.
Incorporate some spinach in to your sandwich.

Soon, you will start to feel an energetic shift that is undeniable.  And I guarantee you that soon you will also be really passionate- about plants.

Parenting and Pottery.

With Mother's Day being last Sunday, it really got me thinking about parenting- not just the diapers, laundry, Play Doh messes and school projects, but the parenting part- like knowing where to draw the line, when to lay down the discipline and when to give in- and doing it all with unconditional love... In reality, no book can teach you how to do this.  Hats off to all the parents out there.  I don't know how you do it.  It's hard enough for me to remember when to deep condition my hair and take out the trash.

On Monday, my dad called me to let me know that the ceramic teacup I had made was now glazed and finished.  When I had last left my teacup, it was plain white.  Back then my dad asked me, "Do you want me to put a design on it?"  I didn't hesitate to answer.  "Absolutely!"

I loved the design that he put on it- one of his signature "Kanzaki-swoosh" marks that was inspired in-the-moment and always artistically contains three dots, representing the Trinity.  Like Thomas Kinkade always hid his wife's initials in his paintings, all of my dad's ceramic pieces contain this similar trademark.

I got home and was admiring my precious teacup.  In a way, it symbolically reminded me of the relationship between a parent and a child.  I remembered the process of transforming that blob of clay by gently molding it with my hands and applying just the right amount of pressure and water.  Too much pressure, and the cup would have wobbled and collapsed.  Too much water, and the cup would have become a heap of slurry.  I thought about how my dad had artistically "marked" the cup in his expression of creativity and love- and how parents often put their mark and investments into their child with the purest of intentions.

And similarly, just as each ceramic piece must be fired at a high temperature in the kilm to remove impurities, each child must endure a coming of age into adulthood with its similar tests of character refinement.  A ceramicist who stares at the final product- a teacup- may be like a parent wondering about their child-
"Will she fill her life with good things?  Things of lasting qualities?  Things of integrity?  Will she be half empty or half full? Will she hold things that are sweet or bitter?"

I placed the teacup on my mantle as a reminder- I want to be a cup filled with encouragement  that refreshes other's spirits.  I want to be of service.  I want to hold only those qualities that nourish and strengthen.  I want to always be filled with faith, perseverance, and hope.

Sunshine yellow dress + tiara + rockstar legs = Mom-to-be Brooke

One of GL Coaching's own, Brooke, will be a mom soon.  All of us are excited for this new chapter in her life.  Knowing Brooke, I am confident that her little teacup will be filled to the brim with qualities of strength, grace, tenacity, humility, and pure grit, just like her momma.  Cheers to all the parents out there- thank you for taking to the potter's wheel and doing your best to create living and beautiful art through your children.

Can't wait for Addison to grow out of these so I can draft off of her!

Your Inner Circle.

"Mark my words- you will never outperform your inner circle.  If you want to achieve more, the first thing you should do is improve your inner circle." -John Wooden

Do you want to know what your capacity for success is? Look at the people you have around you.

It's true- water rises to its own level.  Who you choose to surround yourself with directly affects the way you view life, challenges and opportunity.  Jim Rohn once said, "You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with."

Pre-season training is now behind us.  Last week was recovery week, and this marks the end of the first week of spring/summer Ironman training.

Make sure you clearly define your inner circle.  Who's in?  Who should be gently replaced? Are you rising to a higher level of greatness by surrounding yourself with positive individuals who rise to challenges or are you boggled down by emotional vampires?  Who are you depending on for training partners, emotional support, and balance (aka things/people outside of swimbikerun)?

Do you want to achieve greatness at a higher level in your work, life, or sport?  Improve your inner circle.  It's a good time to start thinking about these things.  It's time to trim the fat.

Unfinished Business.

To date, there has been only one event in my life that I DNF'd. (For non-athlete readers, that means Did Not Finish).  It was raining that day.  And no, not the the little sprinkles that cause your hair to frizz.  During the first 5 minutes of the ride, it was like someone put me in the shower and turned the water on full blast.  The torrential downpour was so bad that I remember asking myself, "Which is safer? Having the rain fall into my eyes and risk having my contacts fall out, or ride with my Oakleys and perform a self-windshield-wiper action with my fingers every few minutes?"

After descending some hills, gripping my brakes fully, and still rolling out into the street due to lack of traction, I quit after the first rest stop.  I didn't even make it to mile 20. 

I knew this was the wise decision, the safer decision.  But still...

You know the free t-shirts you get after completing events?  In 2009, I had pre-ordered a size for the guy I was with at the time, since I know that in this sport, it takes two.  It killed me because he wore it all the time.  Hey, it's just a shirt, right?  But it secretly bothered me because it was a reminder of the fact that I really hadn't successfully accomplished the Grizzly Peak Century- I had only grabbed a few pretzels and GU gels at the first rest stop and called it a day.

At the Vineman awards ceremony- with the GPC shirt.  WHYYYY?

Needless to say, I had unfinished business with the GPC.  To be honest, I was dreading it.  I was dreading the hills, the elevation (8,600 ft and change), 102 miles...but I wanted to prove to myself that I could rewrite the ending to this story, even a few years later.

And yes, this year was very different.  Wolfie and Hulk fed me an awesome dinner and kept my spirits high on Saturday night, and Stinger packed my bike up the day before so I could just shimmy over in my chamois early at o'dark-thirty without worrying about bike logistics.  I had good company up the hills, fun playtimes of descending down the hills, and overall, felt pretty amazing.  Some parts were more difficult than others (McEwan Road- cough, cough), but being surrounded with positive friends was a huge determining factor in how the day unfolded.

At one point, we rode past the San Pablo refineries.  The scenery was drab and overall devoid of nature and life.  

Definitely not like riding through the vineyards!

The lack of beautiful scenery made me even more appreciative of the beautiful green landscape, rolling hills, and blue sky that normally fills our sights during our rides. 

The usual. I know. It's ok to be jealous.

I noticed the parallel in my own life.  I had to witness the ugly times to really appreciate the beauty I am now surrounded by with my fellow friends and teammates. 

Choo-choo! Riding the Stinger Train.
Notice the difference in our expressions. haha!

Finished business.

An epic ride with epic teammates calls for an epic beer.

I no longer fear this ride, the distance, or the elevation.  This was a lesson that you can re-write the ending to a story.  The inspiration and courage can be channeled from the people you choose to surround yourself with, and also from within you.  

But it is you who ultimately holds the pen. 

Now, how do I order extra 2013 GPC finisher t-shirts?

Recovery Weeeee!k

For a gal who thrives on structure, this 'unstructured' recovery week was still filled with happy "Weeee!" moments on the road, track, and pool.  I was able to ride new routes with old friends, float as fast as I could next to Coach in the pool, and dust off the TT bike and revisit old routes with new training ohana.  Life is definitely good.

I couldn't have said it better myself, Tony!

Putting in the South Bay miles with Franz

Tail wind.  Tail shot.

Mid-week spin sesh with Stinger.
Does it bother anyone else that this sign wasn't spellchecked?
Or am I that OCD?

Finally some hurdles I'm not afraid of!
What happens at track, stays at track.
Kinda like Vegas.

Superstar couple Wolfie and Hulk TT'in it up

Recovery periods are essential for the body and soul.  And it's funny how in life, the same notion applies. Sometimes you need those mending times to explore freely, without expectations, and allow the healing process to naturally occur.  Because in the end, you will come back stronger, with renewed motivation, and make a few awesome friends along the way.

Tomorrow I'm tackling the Grizzy Peak Century for the 2nd time.  It amazes me how different things are in my life than they were in 2009 when I first attempted it.  Cheers to being able to witness a full recovery in life, love, and sport...

Shadow Art.

Just the title of this post made me smile.  Shadow and art- the nickname I now embrace and love, and the expression of human creative skill and imagination.  I am obsessed with creative people and their processes. 

Shadow photo time while logging trailtime.

I happen to share an office with one of the most creative people I know.  When the white labcoat is shed, she embodies a spirit of curiousity and imagination that takes the form of dance, cooking, gardening, baking, and yoga.  She shared this beautiful video with me.  It was a poignant reminder that our wordless actions can tell a bigger and more beautiful story.  Enjoy.

Ohana.

At first I was going to write a race report, but this really wasn't considered a "race."  In the eyes of the Aussie coach, it was merely a "training session" where he happened to bring a lot more people out to 'play' with.

For me, it was a chance to witness firsthand how our team really is like ohana.

As evidenced on most Sunday rides... ;)

Being single in this sport can be both a blessing and a curse.  I can go to sleep as early as I need to without being guilt-tripped, or wake-up at 4:45am without disrupting someone else's sleep.  But sometimes it helps to have a partner- There were times in the past when I'd come back from work, my bike would be all ready to ride- tires pumped, chain lubed, hydration drinks mixed and in the bottles, and I would just change and we'd roll out to ride before the sunset.  There were race mornings where I'd just hop in the car and sleep, and the directions and navigation were in someone else's reliable hands.  

Saturday I felt very well-taken care of.  Hulk and Wolfie packed my bike up the day before to make things easier logistically.  Race morning, they picked me up at 3:45am.  I slept like a baby.  Not having to drive, fight for parking, and get lost in an area with no reception was a huge load off of my shoulders.

Hulk and Wolfie.
Hulk pushes me in the pool and on the bike, Wolfie pushes me on the track.

Stinger and Transformer went down the day before and picked up everyone and their mother's packets, t-shirts, and water bottles.  It saved a lot of us from having to stand in line race morning and waste precious time that could be spent on important things- like getting our hair braided or standing in the porta-potty line.

Super Sherpa Stinger and Transformer.
This was Transformer's first sprint triathlon and she did amazing!
(Mom, if you're reading, this is the lady I've been talking about!)

Race bib pickup with an added bonus- can you spot the good luck smiley face?

The night before, Warrior gave me my race-day inspiration that turned into my mantra....SHINE.  Today was the day to step out of the shadows and into the light, allowing my inner light to shine.  Her words were a huge encouragement and ran through my mind the entire time.  I literally could not stop smiling the entire time I was on the bike- I felt like Chrissie Wellington, all smiles.  I was just so grateful to be in that moment, doing what I love, and feeling so good doing it.

Race-day mantra.

Race day priorities.  Clearly.

Everything we had done in training already; I have never felt so smooth in my swim and effortless on the bike.  I raced naked- no Garmin, no heartrate monitor, no computer- I felt that data would only be limiting since my goal was just to go fast.  The results that our team had were solid- and that speaks volumes about the incredible coaching and guidance we've received over the past 11 weeks.  Aside from learning cool new words, the Aussie's unique training philosophy and coaching structure have transformed all of us from average athletes to 'thinking' athletes who are more relaxed and race faster.  

And thanks to Coach, Saturday turned out to be a pretty good "training session." 

 "Team Mom" Rising Phoenix and I took 1st and 2nd place.

Wolfie gobbled up enough prey to land her a 2nd place AG win!

I am so grateful to be surrounded by inspiring people who make me a better person and a better athlete.  

And just like family members all have nicknames for each other, I had to follow suit in the writing of this post.  Hence all the crazy nicknames.  We really are like family.  We really are ohana.

Lessons from Celery.

Have you ever cut celery?  You normally cut off the stalks an inch from the bottom, throw that stump in the trash, and continue chopping up the rest of the stalks.

There have been a lot of moments in my life that are like those celery stalk bottoms, in the form of  mistakes, failures, and things that I'm not too proud of.  And similar to when I'm in the kitchen, it's easier to whisk them off the cutting board, open up the trash can, haphazardly dump them in, shut the lid, and forget about them.

But recently, I've taken a good look at my life and realized that those 'mistakes' and 'failures' were huge bridges and building blocks in creating who I am today.

I don't like focusing on the past, but sometimes it's good to examine those 'stumps,' and let them sit for awhile.  Don't hate on them, love them.  Accept them as a necessary part of your journey.  Shine a little light on those issues instead of sweeping them under the rug.

And you will discover that with time, something amazing will emerge.  What you first thought was 'trash' always has the potential for growth, for new life.

Some things just need more water, love, and sunshine to grow again.

Life doesn't promise us an easy path.  But stay the course and stay courageous, no matter how hard the winds may blow.

So if you have a bunch of celery stems in your career path, your relationships, or even in your sport, accept them, give them some attention and know that nothing in life is a waste- everything has the potential for new life and new direction.