Lessons from Celery.

Have you ever cut celery?  You normally cut off the stalks an inch from the bottom, throw that stump in the trash, and continue chopping up the rest of the stalks.

There have been a lot of moments in my life that are like those celery stalk bottoms, in the form of  mistakes, failures, and things that I'm not too proud of.  And similar to when I'm in the kitchen, it's easier to whisk them off the cutting board, open up the trash can, haphazardly dump them in, shut the lid, and forget about them.

But recently, I've taken a good look at my life and realized that those 'mistakes' and 'failures' were huge bridges and building blocks in creating who I am today.

I don't like focusing on the past, but sometimes it's good to examine those 'stumps,' and let them sit for awhile.  Don't hate on them, love them.  Accept them as a necessary part of your journey.  Shine a little light on those issues instead of sweeping them under the rug.

And you will discover that with time, something amazing will emerge.  What you first thought was 'trash' always has the potential for growth, for new life.

Some things just need more water, love, and sunshine to grow again.

Life doesn't promise us an easy path.  But stay the course and stay courageous, no matter how hard the winds may blow.

So if you have a bunch of celery stems in your career path, your relationships, or even in your sport, accept them, give them some attention and know that nothing in life is a waste- everything has the potential for new life and new direction.

Wabi-Sabi.

My sister was the person who first introduced me to the term "wabi-sabi."  She apparently learned about it from my dad, who explained it as "finding the beauty and perfection in imperfection."  I was trying to wrap my head around this concept when she said, "Dad said that pinchpots are 'wabi-sabi' in an artistic expression." 

Ah, pinchpots.

The very first pinchpot that I made- working from one solid piece of clay and 'pinching' it outward to create a bowl. The whole time I had to remind myself that it was supposed to look asymmetrical.

Now I understood.  Wabi-Sabi is a Japanese world view or aesthetic expressing the beauty of things imperfect, impermanent and incomplete.  Each piece has a visual presence of its own and attempts to capture the simplicity and playfulness that are the cornerstone of the aesthetic.  Pinchpots embody the spirit of wabi-sabi because they are meant to be asymmetrical and imperfect, and this is what makes them beautiful.  Wabi-sabi is the reason why a vase with a crack down the center is deemed more unique and valuable than a perfectly shaped pot with no imperfections.  

There have been countless books and articles written about this concept of wabi-sabi in art, poetry, home decoration, and even lifestyle.  But what about in sport?

In triathlon, is it really perfection that we seek?  If I always had "perfect" training days and "perfect" races, the sport in itself would not be as attractive to me.  Even physically, our bodies are imperfect- perhaps we have flat feet, high arches, bum knees, disproportionate hip lengths, back problems or heart issues- but it is by embracing those imperfections and consciously moving forward when beauty is created.

This marked the 10th week of training with GL Coaching.  You'd better believe that I'm no perfect athlete.  But I freaking love the process, the growth- the opportunity that I have to go to That Place in each workout.  That one...you all know...the one where you stand toe to toe- with yourself- and you get curious, you get down, you dig deep, and you get stronger.

Exploring "That Place" with inspiring teammates.

It's not perfection that we seek.  But in the messy times, the struggles- those are the imperfect moments when we become more actualized, and we can truly see ourselves and what we are made of.  We are all pinchpots and our clay medium is triathlon.

Triathlon is comprised of 3 sports, so naturally an athlete will excel predominately in one of the disciplines, and have room for improvement in another.  It has been beautiful to watch the transformation of various squad members as they improve on their weakest link.  No one is "perfect" in all three sports.  It's been inspiring to watch the mental (and physical) improvement of everyone, as we all help each other along.  

It is by navigating through our imperfections when the most beautiful parts of who we are as individuals emerge- and that in itself is artistic expression in its truest form. 

We are not perfect.
And because of that fact, we are even more cherished and beautiful and valued by Someone, and by each other.
Wabi-sabi. Finding perfection in imperfection.
We are wabi-sabi in motion, as athletes.
This is the spirit of our sport.

Explore and embrace the beautiful athlete and individual that you are!

Who Do You Love?

At tonight's bike/run session, Coach mentioned his Aussie friend who had managed to mount his expensive bike above the headboard in the bedroom.  The visual made me laugh, and also reminded me of this great quiz written by Joe Kita that I had read in Bicycling magazine a few years back.  It was so perfect for me during that time in my life that I had actually torn it out and saved it.  I tried searching for the actual quiz online but couldn't locate it.

Fortunately, I had filed away the hard copy of the quiz, and it luckily survived various moves and relationships in between... 

For those of you in relationships, these are the hard questions to ask yourself... For each question, answer "bike" or "spouse."  If both apply, mark both.  If neither applies, move on to the next question.  If you're not married, substitute "girlfriend" or "boyfriend" for spouse.  At the end, calculate which entity receives more of your affection.  And I suppose if they both tie,  you can mount your bike above the headboard....

1. I'll never forget the first time I saw you.
2. I wanted you instantly.
3. I often find myself daydreaming about you.
4. There's more than one photo of us together on my desk.
5. I love showing you off to my friends.
6. My friends often remark how attractive you are.
7. In a typical week, we spend five or more hours of quality time together.
8. When you're around, I often look at you with admiration and longing.
9. In the last 3 months, I've spent more than $250 on you.
10. I desperately want to take you to Italy.
11. Our last ride lasted more than an hour.
12. It's thrilling how you respond beneath me.
13. I would never let anyone else ride you.
14. You make my heart beat faster.
15. You make me feel young.
16. You have taken me places and shown me things I never thought I would see.
17. When I'm alone with you, I'm at peace with the world.
18. You were made for me.
19. I can't live without you.
20. I will never upgrade to a newer model.

Pencils down.  Now break up or ride your bike accordingly.

#1830

Dear #1830:

It's been almost one week since I first met you, yet due to the nature of our sport, I feel like I already know so much about you. 

We exist in a sport that weighs so heavily on numbers (pace, heartrate, power, cadence, miles, speed)-  even 4 numbers attached to a racebelt represent your identity... yet behind those numbers I know there is a strength and a resilience that cannot be captured by objective data.

The outsiders call us crazy, but to each other, there is an invisible thread that weaves us together because of our shared experiences, albeit very personal, on and off of the race course.  We all have hit very dark, dark places that crack us open so we can feel the center of our own soul; yet have found strength in that vulnerability that eventually fuels us forward.
And always forward.  It is a sport that continually breaks us and rebuilds us, in a physical, spiritual, and emotional sense.

I read this beautiful article and thought of you, your dad, and how toeing the line on Saturday at Oceanside 70.3 is symbolic of so much more than swimbikerun.  

When it comes to living, it is always better to DNF than to DNS.

And so, on Saturday, my dear #1830, I ask that you forget about the numbers and think about your mantra- FEARLESS.  I know you said you were borrowing it from me, but it is now fully yours to embrace.  Because what we think about, we become.  So may your head be filled with good and positive thoughts.

Your Oceanside 70.3 wristband mantra...

The famous Aussie coach always reminds us to think, "I feel good, I feel strong, I feel relaxed," and even when I'm in the middle of a horrendous hill climb, it's amazing how I say those words and my body follows suit.  You can borrow these too; I'm sure he won't mind.

Leave the fear of the unknown behind.  Race with your heart.  It will not disappoint you.

Love,
#2111

A 'lil #throwback Thursday action- Oceanside 70.3 2010

P.S. And whatever you do, don't forget the important stuff-  Smile for the camera and pee in your wetsuit before the gun goes off.  (I just saved you from being asked if people can borrow your wetsuit.  You're welcome.)

Face Down, A$$ Up...

(Disclaimer: For those of you who are only here for the swimbikerun, skip this post.)

I could have 'yelped' them a 1-star.  Or I could blog.  So I'm blogging. 

This marked the end of my first week of 'real' running using a new technique (which left me sore in new places), as well as a beautiful and hilly bike ride today.  I knew I had a 90 minute massage tonight, so I didn't mind the extra soreness since I knew all those knots and tightness would be worked and massaged out.

So I did something that I never do- I didn't bother using the foam roller after today's ride. (ooooohhhh...) I figured that's my massage therapist's job, right?

The scene of our first (and last) date

I had the worst massage experience in my life.  So to keep my mind occupied during that horrendous time, I likened it to dating the wrong person.  Here goes...

HOW A BAD MASSAGE THERAPIST IS LIKE A BAD SIGNIFICANT OTHER

1. You don't trust them.  You have a feeling you'll leave injured.
I'm extremely sensitive to people's energy and can feel love through touch, or in this case, sloppiness.  It was the opposite of a nurturing deep tissue massage and I felt as though she didn't understand muscle anatomy, or how to follow the lines of the muscles along the body.  Her ADHD hands were all over the place without structure.  And I like structure.  It was like having a friend give you a free massage, where it feels somewhat good, but you can tell they don't have a clue what they're doing.  Well, she wasn't my friend.  And I was paying her.

2. You have to cut it short.
When you're with the right person, you want to spend more time with them.  When you're with the wrong person, all you can think about is an escape plan.  I had 90 minutes scheduled.  10 minutes in, I was brainstorming how I'd ask her to switch it to 60 minutes.

3. They try to gloss over the knots really, really hard instead of taking the time and patience to work them out individually.
Self-explanatory.

4.  Miscommunication.
This is inevitable, but it's worse with a language barrier.  Yes, I know I signed up online for 90 minutes.  No, I'm just in too much pain. (Better to pussy out than tell her she's horrible).  Yes, I want to change it only 60 minutes.  No, I didn't schedule it online for 60 minutes.  (This led to her having to leave the room to check the computer, which took 5 minutes. Which could have been 5 additional minutes banging on my tender neck).

5. They don't answer your questions directly.
"This is really tight!" (Bang, bang, bang)
"I know...it's from all the riding that I've been doing lately.  Is that considered my hamstring? Or is it my IT band?"
(brief pause)....
"Muscle! It da muscle." (Bang, bang, bang)

6.  The whole time you're with them, you're thinking about how much happier you'd be with someone else.
In the past, I had seen a great massage therapist who works on athletes and has an incredible grasp of muscle anatomy, trigger points, as well as an amazing touch.  The entire time I was being massaged, I was thinking about Michelle and how she was doing, how she was the best, and if she was free in the future weeks to schedule me in.

7.  You're relieved when it's over.
Normally, when massages end, you wish they would continue on forever.  But like bad relationships, when they're over, you can only feel a huge sense of relief and freedom.
After 60 minutes she said, "We're done!"
And the first two words that came to mind were, "Thank God!"

This was just my experience.  Wolfie came with me tonight and she had a good massage.  So maybe it's just me.  Then again, I gave Wolfie some protein powder samples that I tolerate well, and they didn't quite agree with her belly this morning.  So we're even now. :) And perhaps the take-home lesson is that with everything, whether it is protein powder or massage places- it depends on the individual.

Now...where's my foam roller?

Let It Shine.

"And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." 
                                                                      -Nelson Mandela

Small Wins.

It was around mile 70 when I could start to feel the tears welling up in my eyes.  My legs felt like lead.  I was dropped and watched the rest of the group ride away.  Last week at this same hill, I felt so good.  This week I could barely pedal my bike.

Keith dropped back and as I slowly rolled up to him he asked, "How are you feeling?"
It was hard to breathe because I was crying.  "I'm having a hard time.  Today is a bad bike day."

Yes, this did happen.

With the physically and mentally challenging day I had experienced, I was perfectly fine riding back at my own pace since we were only 10 miles away.  His answer surprised me.  "You didn't work your a$$ off for 70 miles to ride home alone.  We're all gonna ride back together."

The last 10 miles were a tangible reminder that in life we are never alone- there are people who act as our steady wheels, shielding and blocking the wind from us so we can arrive at our destination in one piece.

Was able to do this with the wisdom of my teammates and coaches.

In his book The Power of Habits, Charles Duhigg presents the concept of "small wins."  A huge body of research has shown that small wins have enormous power.  Once a small win has been accomplished, it fuels transformative changes that favor another small win. This chain reaction and momentum that is created can convince people that bigger achievements are obtainable.  Even in difficult or challenging times, this momentum still continues to propel you forward.  Pyschologists refer to this as the "science of small wins." The concept applies specifically to business and work models, but I found it can equally apply to sport. 

Thinking back on past training workouts, I rarely remember the easy, good days.  It's those hard days; the ones that really made a dent physically and mentally- that I can recall vividly. 

I can remember the first time I climbed through Morgan Territory, feeling the lactic acid in my legs, and with each turn, seeing the pitch in the road curve ever so slightly upward.  Countless times I contemplated getting off my bike to "stretch" (aka. catch my breath).  But I didn't.  I kept chugging onward.  I kept moving forward.  And I remember how that ride taught me that my little legs have more stamina than I give them credit for.

Or that steep little climb right at the top of Mt. Diablo.  You know, the one where you want to zigzag your bike to offset the grade percentage, or walk your bike up, or kill whoever constructed the road at such an angle?  Yes, these are the rides I remember.  These are my "small wins."

Today's ride distance and the yummy Wolf food that helped fuel me.

Physically, there was nothing "winning" about this ride today.  But it taught me that it is important to finish what you set out to do, and there are people who look after you and help you reach your goal.  During Ironman on the lonely parts of the course when it starts to feel hard, these are the moments that you recall.  This recollection of "small wins"- the times when you resisted the temptation to quit, moved past it and finished intact- provides the momentum that fuels you to that finish line.

Today at mile 70 I said that it was a bad bike day.
I was wrong.
Today was a small win.