What Did You Fail at Today?

For most children, dinner table conversations include questions like, "How was your day? What went well today for you?" But for Sarah Blakely, the founder of Spanx, she was asked a much different question each night by her father at the kitchen table- "What did you fail at today?"

She recalls, "If there was nothing, he'd be disappointed. I think failure is nothing more than life's way of nudging you that you are off course. My attitude to failure is not attached to outcome, but in not trying. It is liberating. Most people attach failure to something not working out or how people perceive you. This way, it is about answering to yourself. Failure was something we sought out and not this scary thing."

I've recently adopted this notion of the 'Blakely kitchen table' in my own life and started asking myself that question each night, "What did I fail at today?'  You may think that this question could lead someone down the hole into depression and straight to Loserville, but I am finding that the exact opposite happens.  In a sense, it is actually making me more fearless, urging me to constantly stretch myself in all areas of life.  So often it is easy to remain comfortable and to continue doing the things we are good at, right? But contemplating what I 'failed' at means that I need to try more things.  

Doing pool work post-work.

In the pool, I can comfortably swim 10 x 100 yards on the 1:30 interval.  I've been able to hold this interval (uncomfortably at times), but for the most part, since college.  Tonight, I decided to try and speed it up a bit, aiming for 10 x100 yds on the 1:25 interval. I made it to the 6th 100 until my lungs felt like they were going to explode and I hit the wall right when I was supposed to leave for the next interval. Did I feel like a failure?  Not at all!  Today, it wasn't about 'failing' to swim 10 x 100 yds on the 1:25, but learning that I had the speed and strength to swim 5 of them at that pace; something that I would have never even attempted in the past.  Sarah Blakely's father was brilliant.

I am allowing this question to permeate my life not only in sport, but also in the kitchen, in my relationships, and in my career. And so far, I've found that it has only been positive, spurring me on to stretch and try new things, without judgement or criticism.  Allow yourself to have the imaginative freedom to envision what you want to create in your life, without the inhibiting fear that most people have of the fear of failure.

Trying new things in the kitchen...I took a chance and didn't measure anything.
Thankfully, these sweet potato energy balls turned out well!

I prefer a different set of wheels, but hey, I tried!

Sometimes, it all boils down to reframing and rethinking the notion of failure. If you want to change your life, change the question- "What did you fail at today?"

Just what I was looking for. #change #SantaCruz

Get ready to be liberated. Get ready to be amazed.

Good Stuff.

Yup. Sounds about right.

I saw this quote, and thought it summed up the past week and a half pretty well.  These days have been filled with lots of fun adventures, trying new poses, new recipes, new riding routes.  

So close to touching my hands together! #workinprogress

On Monday, I had the worst bike ride I've had in a long time.  It was my fault, my breakfast was sub-par and rushed, and I paid for it in a big way.  The fact that I did weighted squat jumps the day before probably didn't help my legs much either.  Mid-ride I found myself at the gas station, where I inhaled a Clifbar and a banana.  I actually bought a banana and ate it. (For those who know me, I hate plain bananas...barf!!) But desperate times call for desperate measures.  PIC was the best and she pulled me all the way through the wind and was so nice.  I was a mess mentally and physically.  It felt nice not to be judged, but to just chalk it up to another adventure.

I guess you win some, you lose some.  Yesterday was a new day with a new riding buddy.  My legs felt better, but they still had a hard time keeping up with the ever-speedy Michelle!  I think when you hear someone's story and it resonates with you, you can't help but become emotionally involved.  Stories of love and loss, sharing long bike rides with the person you care about most, and navigating the roads again- alone.  We climbed and cried together.  It's like going from riding a tandem and being the stoker to all of a sudden having to ride your own bike, pedal your own weight, and become your own captain of the ride.  I think once you've been there and survived, it becomes easier to hold space for others.  When your past pain can allow you to empathize and help another, it really brings things full circle.  I love that.

There is always beauty after a storm. Trust me.

Onto the recipes.  I suppose failure is a part of the process.  So I am learning to enjoy the process.  I love PK because she gives good constructive feedback.  There were no blueberries at the store so I swapped them out for raspberries, which made things taste less sweet and watered down the muffin.  And I guess extra eggs don't pick up the slack for not adding butter or another fat.  Even a printed recipe can use modification, I suppose.  Back to the drawing board for these muffins...

Lemon raspberry coconut flour muffins. Or, as I'd say, what not to do to a muffin.

And I've realized too how much I need the water.  I saw some parents on deck barking orders /coaching their kids- they were super strict, making them do drills and timing their splits.  It was a Saturday, for cryin' out loud.  A part of me hoped that the kids wouldn't be bitter, but rather that they would appreciate this gift and love the water.  Never would I think that I would return again and again to the pool for stress-relief, to calm my mind, and come up with my most creative projects.  There's something about the water that I am drawn to...

"Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again." -Joseph Campbell

It's a good day too when you find a piece of clothing that reflects what you love!

Thank you Express, for making a portofino shirt with bikes on it.  My wardrobe is now complete!

I can't believe that May is just around the corner.  Cheers to new adventures, connecting with good people, and growing.  In a few days, I'll be in the Santa Cruz mountains to continue this theme...

Monday Miles.

"May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view.  
May your mountains rise into and above the clouds."

-Edward Abbey

The view today from two wheels- just another manic Monday. 

Nozomi.

My dad just returned from a trip to Japan.  He brought me back a souvenir, and at first I was expecting some fun Japanese candy or treats.  So imagine my surprise when I opened up the bag and saw a beautiful necklace pendant that resembled some of his ceramic pieces.  It was packaged with a card that read "Nozomi Project."

A small but powerful object lesson.

Nozomi, translated 'hope' in Japanese, is a social enterprise bringing hope to women adversely affected by the 2011 earthquake and tsunami in Ishinomaki, Japan.  Nozomi women create one-of-a-kind pieces of jewelry using broken pottery left in the wake of the tsunami.  As broken shards are being transformed into beautiful treasures, lives are also being filled with renewed beauty.  The Nozomi Project symbolizes "Beauty from Brokenness."

Today, looking at the beautiful pendant made from broken pottery, it symbolized a greater lesson of restoration from brokenness.

I still remember those days like they were yesterday.  I would sleep, wake up from the nightmare, realize the nightmare was my life, and then try to go back to sleep.  I robotically created 'To Do' lists filled with meaningless tasks, just to give myself some structure in my life.  I numbly re-arranged the items that would have filled a brand new house into my old childhood bedroom.  I was so angry and confused- little did I know that this entire season of my life was teaching me a lesson in humility that could only be experienced with raw and absolute brokenness. 

It was 2006, and I remember sitting in the uncomfortable wooden pew.  I felt oddly out of place, even though it was the familiar sanctuary of my youth, with its familiar smells and carpet where I had grown up.  Feeling like an outsider, I watched the man on stage give an object lesson at the front of the church.  Most knew him as a comedian who also was a master ceramicist- I just knew him as Dad.  He had his potter's wheel and lump of clay, and we all marveled at the way he could effortlessly transform the ball of gray matter into a beautiful vase.  It was like magic.

And then, he said something that I'll never forget- "If the clay starts to get shaky or uneven, it can crumble down and fall into itself.  But as the potter, you simply re-work it and re-shape it- you don't just throw the clay away."  I saw him look up and I felt like he was looking at me directly in the eyes.  Tears streamed down my face.  This was more than a simple object lesson, this was a divine message from a Father to a daughter.

It was at that moment that I recognized and experienced hope.  We were not meant to live as broken shards, shattered pieces of beauty that "once was."  We can be picked up from the rubble, dusted off and polished until we shine-  Beauty from ashes.

There are times in our lives that will break us, shattering our spirits and our dreams.  While the world may tell us that we should stay in the dirt, shrouded from sunlight and buried under the rubble, this is simply not our destiny.  Remember that true beauty often comes from brokenness.  Sometimes simple souvenirs and unconditional love from a father can remind us of a greater Truth:

There is always hope, there is always nozomi.

Girl. Bike. Love.

Awhile back, I found this awesome website and am not sure what I loved more- the content, or the name.

I'm diggin' their kits too!

Actually, I take that back.  I like the name more.  And the simplicity of it reminded me of today's Tierra Bella ride.  Kimi and I have done this particular ride numerous times throughout the years, and although the route has stayed the same, each year, we navigate new territory in our personal lives- both the hard stuff and the easy stuff.

Like two peas in a pod. #edamame #TeamJapan

As much as I love pushing myself with the boys, it's nice to just ride for fun with a fellow Japanese girl cyclist, and talk about boys and life in general.

Team Japan 2014

The intensity of last year's training was so good for me- the bike rides made me tough, they made me cry, they made me realize that I needed to dig deep and believe in myself.  Yes, those are necessary in shaping you as a person and as an athlete.

But you know what I've found is even more important?  

Balance.

Rest, refuel, re-braid

Making daisy chains in the sunshine and grass post-ride...

And these types of rides are just as important.  Even if you've navigated through injury, hurt, dark moments, and fearful times in life, these fun social rides have the power to miraculously bring you back into the light.  Women say they need a spa day; I beg to argue that they should grab a bike and their girlfriends.  There's something about being outside with your hair blowing in the wind, as you accelerate up climbs and power down the descents that make you feel brave and empowered and liberated.  These rides remind you how great it is to be a GIRL who can ride a BIKE and how awesome it is to experience and realize LOVE.

Now that's something I'd drop my nail polish for in a heartbeat.

Work Hard. Be Brave.

When asked what his secret to success was, Casey Neistat distilled it into four words: 

WORK HARD.  BE BRAVE.

I love these simple four words and I work daily to embrace them in all areas of my life...

Always moving forward...

Vegan Cauliflower Crust

I feel bad for cauliflower.
It's like the kid who was picked last in P.E. for a team.
Having a superstar sister like broccoli doesn't make life any easier.
So I decided to give cauliflower some love and attention...  

Recently, I've tried cauliflower 'rice' and was impressed with how it turned out.  So I decided to step things up a notch and try it as a base for pizza.  Today at the end of the workday, we were talking about having multiple food allergies and how frustrating that would be.  I mean, it's one thing to have a gluten intolerance, but what if you were allergic to wheat, gluten, lactose AND eggs?  Not only would this make for an interesting dining-out dating experience, but it would be extremely tedious.  I can't imagine...

And what if you were just craving some pizza?

Well, here is a recipe for you.  Did you know you can substitute a egg in a recipe with a "chia egg" that consists of 1 Tb. chia seeds mixed with 3 Tbsp. of water?  Well, now you do...

Cauliflower is now officially the 'cool kid' on the block...

Vegan Cauliflower Pizza

Ingredients for the crust:
-1 head of cauliflower
-1/4 c. almond flour
-3 'chia eggs': make by mixing 3 Tb. chia seeds with 9 Tbsp. water
-salt and pepper
-Italian seasoning, basil, thyme, whatever other fun seasonings you feel like adding


1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
2. Make your 'chia eggs' in a separate cup and set aside.
3. Wash the cauliflower and place in a food processor with an "S-shaped" blade and pulse until the cauliflower is into rice-size pieces.
4. Microwave for 3 minutes until soft.
5. Squeeze out the excess water of the cauliflower with a towel.
6. Mix in the almond flour and seasonings and combine well into a 'dough' ball.
7. Bake for 20 minutes, or until golden brown.
8. Add your pizza toppings, place back into the oven and bake for 5-10 minutes longer.
9. Enjoy your nutrient-dense, plant-powered pizza!