Monday Miles.

"May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view.  
May your mountains rise into and above the clouds."

-Edward Abbey

The view today from two wheels- just another manic Monday. 

Nozomi.

My dad just returned from a trip to Japan.  He brought me back a souvenir, and at first I was expecting some fun Japanese candy or treats.  So imagine my surprise when I opened up the bag and saw a beautiful necklace pendant that resembled some of his ceramic pieces.  It was packaged with a card that read "Nozomi Project."

A small but powerful object lesson.

Nozomi, translated 'hope' in Japanese, is a social enterprise bringing hope to women adversely affected by the 2011 earthquake and tsunami in Ishinomaki, Japan.  Nozomi women create one-of-a-kind pieces of jewelry using broken pottery left in the wake of the tsunami.  As broken shards are being transformed into beautiful treasures, lives are also being filled with renewed beauty.  The Nozomi Project symbolizes "Beauty from Brokenness."

Today, looking at the beautiful pendant made from broken pottery, it symbolized a greater lesson of restoration from brokenness.

I still remember those days like they were yesterday.  I would sleep, wake up from the nightmare, realize the nightmare was my life, and then try to go back to sleep.  I robotically created 'To Do' lists filled with meaningless tasks, just to give myself some structure in my life.  I numbly re-arranged the items that would have filled a brand new house into my old childhood bedroom.  I was so angry and confused- little did I know that this entire season of my life was teaching me a lesson in humility that could only be experienced with raw and absolute brokenness. 

It was 2006, and I remember sitting in the uncomfortable wooden pew.  I felt oddly out of place, even though it was the familiar sanctuary of my youth, with its familiar smells and carpet where I had grown up.  Feeling like an outsider, I watched the man on stage give an object lesson at the front of the church.  Most knew him as a comedian who also was a master ceramicist- I just knew him as Dad.  He had his potter's wheel and lump of clay, and we all marveled at the way he could effortlessly transform the ball of gray matter into a beautiful vase.  It was like magic.

And then, he said something that I'll never forget- "If the clay starts to get shaky or uneven, it can crumble down and fall into itself.  But as the potter, you simply re-work it and re-shape it- you don't just throw the clay away."  I saw him look up and I felt like he was looking at me directly in the eyes.  Tears streamed down my face.  This was more than a simple object lesson, this was a divine message from a Father to a daughter.

It was at that moment that I recognized and experienced hope.  We were not meant to live as broken shards, shattered pieces of beauty that "once was."  We can be picked up from the rubble, dusted off and polished until we shine-  Beauty from ashes.

There are times in our lives that will break us, shattering our spirits and our dreams.  While the world may tell us that we should stay in the dirt, shrouded from sunlight and buried under the rubble, this is simply not our destiny.  Remember that true beauty often comes from brokenness.  Sometimes simple souvenirs and unconditional love from a father can remind us of a greater Truth:

There is always hope, there is always nozomi.

Girl. Bike. Love.

Awhile back, I found this awesome website and am not sure what I loved more- the content, or the name.

I'm diggin' their kits too!

Actually, I take that back.  I like the name more.  And the simplicity of it reminded me of today's Tierra Bella ride.  Kimi and I have done this particular ride numerous times throughout the years, and although the route has stayed the same, each year, we navigate new territory in our personal lives- both the hard stuff and the easy stuff.

Like two peas in a pod. #edamame #TeamJapan

As much as I love pushing myself with the boys, it's nice to just ride for fun with a fellow Japanese girl cyclist, and talk about boys and life in general.

Team Japan 2014

The intensity of last year's training was so good for me- the bike rides made me tough, they made me cry, they made me realize that I needed to dig deep and believe in myself.  Yes, those are necessary in shaping you as a person and as an athlete.

But you know what I've found is even more important?  

Balance.

Rest, refuel, re-braid

Making daisy chains in the sunshine and grass post-ride...

And these types of rides are just as important.  Even if you've navigated through injury, hurt, dark moments, and fearful times in life, these fun social rides have the power to miraculously bring you back into the light.  Women say they need a spa day; I beg to argue that they should grab a bike and their girlfriends.  There's something about being outside with your hair blowing in the wind, as you accelerate up climbs and power down the descents that make you feel brave and empowered and liberated.  These rides remind you how great it is to be a GIRL who can ride a BIKE and how awesome it is to experience and realize LOVE.

Now that's something I'd drop my nail polish for in a heartbeat.

Work Hard. Be Brave.

When asked what his secret to success was, Casey Neistat distilled it into four words: 

WORK HARD.  BE BRAVE.

I love these simple four words and I work daily to embrace them in all areas of my life...

Always moving forward...

Vegan Cauliflower Crust

I feel bad for cauliflower.
It's like the kid who was picked last in P.E. for a team.
Having a superstar sister like broccoli doesn't make life any easier.
So I decided to give cauliflower some love and attention...  

Recently, I've tried cauliflower 'rice' and was impressed with how it turned out.  So I decided to step things up a notch and try it as a base for pizza.  Today at the end of the workday, we were talking about having multiple food allergies and how frustrating that would be.  I mean, it's one thing to have a gluten intolerance, but what if you were allergic to wheat, gluten, lactose AND eggs?  Not only would this make for an interesting dining-out dating experience, but it would be extremely tedious.  I can't imagine...

And what if you were just craving some pizza?

Well, here is a recipe for you.  Did you know you can substitute a egg in a recipe with a "chia egg" that consists of 1 Tb. chia seeds mixed with 3 Tbsp. of water?  Well, now you do...

Cauliflower is now officially the 'cool kid' on the block...

Vegan Cauliflower Pizza

Ingredients for the crust:
-1 head of cauliflower
-1/4 c. almond flour
-3 'chia eggs': make by mixing 3 Tb. chia seeds with 9 Tbsp. water
-salt and pepper
-Italian seasoning, basil, thyme, whatever other fun seasonings you feel like adding


1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
2. Make your 'chia eggs' in a separate cup and set aside.
3. Wash the cauliflower and place in a food processor with an "S-shaped" blade and pulse until the cauliflower is into rice-size pieces.
4. Microwave for 3 minutes until soft.
5. Squeeze out the excess water of the cauliflower with a towel.
6. Mix in the almond flour and seasonings and combine well into a 'dough' ball.
7. Bake for 20 minutes, or until golden brown.
8. Add your pizza toppings, place back into the oven and bake for 5-10 minutes longer.
9. Enjoy your nutrient-dense, plant-powered pizza!

Crewvans.

Pretty much everyone knows about my obsession with green drinks.

Limes have been the newest addition to my green machine. <3  

But not many people know that I've had a secret fascination with ultra-endurance events.  Badwater- the 135-mile ultrarun in Death Valley.  Or hearing the story of Adam Scully-Power, who was the first man to run the 163-mile Pan-Mass challenge.  The athletes themselves are amazing, but what I've found even more interesting was the tremendous energy it required of their crew to ensure the athletes' success.  For Adam Scully-Power, he hit a dark place mentally as he put his reflector vest on once again while he watched the sun set for the second time during his run.  During the last 3 miles of his 163-mile run, he shares about how his wife ran next to him, both of them crying, as she read texts from friends who had lost loved ones from cancer.  This was what he needed at that time- his crew knew it wasn't one more gel or water bottle.  His crew knew what to tell him in order to reignite the purpose and meaning behind his athletic feat, allowing him to finish those last few miles.

Last week, I heard Osher Gunsberg talk about these events and the importance of the crew- "Life is very, very hard. Everyone should have that van full of people driving next to them in the middle of the night saying, 'It's gonna be cool man. We've got boxes of supplies. If you get weird, I'll come and run with you. It's gonna be fine. I've got spare shoes- I can talk you through the hard parts.'  No one blinks that an athlete would have a crewvan of people - a support when they're trying to do an enormous task. Well get this- life is hard.  Life is an enormous task.  There shouldn't be any type of stigma attached to the fact that you need a crew. You don't do it alone. You've got a team of people."

I think whenever you step out into new territory that is challenging and unknown, fear can be paralyzing.  I've come to really appreciate my crewvan and I know that my success is largely because of their support.  PK listened to me brainstorm my ideas aloud and offered advice to me for the past two weeks, always encouraging me.  Another friend told me to set up my table "like you would your transition station for a race"- meaning deliberately and with purpose, since being well-prepared makes me feel less anxious.  Emails, prayers and phone calls with words of affirmation were appreciated so much too.

This past Saturday, I switched this...

The usual Saturday morning business (photo cred: AD)

...for this...

Giving my first nutrition seminar!

Finally getting some answers...

Here are some answers that I've realized this past week-

-You are your own worst critic.
-If you are seeking novel ideas and are feeling stuck, go for a run without music.  You will return with your creativity tank full and achieve an incredible sense of clarity.
-You know more than you think you know.
-If you set your intentions to be of service, to inspire, and to teach others in order to improve their heath and well-being, you will achieve all of that and more.
-Things get easier with time.  The first time is always the hardest.
-When you achieve your sense of flow, you won't need your notes. 
-When you don't need your notes, you are speaking from your heart.
-If you can teach from your heart and you see smiling faces in your audience, it's confirmation that you've found your passion in life.

And to me, this makes a good life.
(and also the fact that a few more people are going to try chia seeds and coconut oil also makes it pretty sweet too...)

Below is a clip from one of my favorite podcasts, "The Good Life Project" by Jonathan Fields...

Who is in your crewvan?  What makes a good life?  These are heavy and important questions, but definitely worth pondering...

Choosing Hope.

This blog has almost gone into hibernation- I am realizing that my last post was almost a month ago.  Hibernation reminds me of caves, and in fact, it is fitting, since I told three different doctors (with their different specialties) in the past month, "I just want to go find a cave and die there."  Antibiotics, medications and having no true diagnosis for your misery can cause a person to say some pretty intense things.

I'm glad to say that I've ditched the cave idea.  The antibiotics seemed to do their job, or at least I believed they were fighting something, and even though test results came back negative a few days later, the placebo effect had already kicked in and I was convinced I was better.

The sun helped me too.  I knew that being outside would help get me out of my funk, and a sunny mid-day swim and biking session did exactly that.  

Out of the cave, back into the sunshine.

This whole experience made me realize the power of our thoughts.  If you let them, they will spiral downward into a defeated mess.  I was barely sleeping some nights because of my symptoms, so the physical exhaustion did not help relieve any stress, which probably fed the inflammatory cycle even more.  I knew this wasn't helping at all.  Deep down, I knew that the best thing was to accept the situation, look for the positive, and focus on the good.  Choose hope.  I had to deliberately teach myself to change my thought pattern- going from contemplating a cave death to focusing on how I can heal myself, inside and out, with cilantro/parsley concoctions, drinking special tea blends, and working on stress management.  Just like in meditation, the mind can only focus on one thought at a time.  

I choose hope.

I just had to learn this lesson on a much grander scale.  Life is funny like that.