Biohacking, Observing, BE-ing.

After last weekend's amazing conference, I've been much more 'in-tune' with how my mental/spiritual health affects my physical/emotional health.  Believe me, I'm usually skeptical about these woo-woo alternative medicine practices, but after reading and hearing testimonials from actual doctors (including Dr. Lissa Rankin), I'm now fascinated with EFT.  I just need to nail down exactly what to say while tapping on the meridians.  Couple that with my recent obsession with biohacking (especially HRV), and a pretty busy week, I've become much more aware of my stress.  The awareness is a good thing.  Before, I would be stressed.  Note there is a huge difference between the two.

Yesterday's swim offers a beautiful analogy.  Because you know me, I understand things better through visual analogies, so hopefully this will help my readers.  It was pouring rain.  I like to swim in the rain...(remember my very first blog post when I was a baby blogger?).  Sometimes worry, negative thoughts and irrational fears are like those thousands of raindrops.  They are everywhere and they surround us.  We can choose to get caught up in them and start down the downward spiral of 'what ifs'... or, we can detach ourselves and just be observers.  

I gracefully did an underwater dolphin kick, streamlined with my arms above my head and kicked onto my back, still 2 feet underneath the water's surface.  I could see the tiny droplets of raindrops, breaking the water's smooth surface in a beautiful array of harmony and disharmony.  I observed the cacophony (like my individual thoughts) falling on top of the water.  But below, I remained in the serene calm, womblike and silent nature of the water, at peace.

These are the lessons that I am slowly learning.  As time passes, they make more and more sense to me. 

Eckhart Tolle sums it up best when he says:
"The mind helps us in the practical aspects of life.  However, we can observe the mind.  Just observe it as it thinks about the past or the future.  Whenever you observe your mind, you are no longer trapped in its past or future.  Through self-observation you can move into the present.  You are Now.  Observe the mind without judging it."

Speaking of judging...I have received some criticism about my new favorite running shoes.  Granted they are not the most aesthetically-appealing and easy on the eyes, but they sure make my feet happy.  They look heavy, but they are surprisingly light.  (looks can be deceiving!)  Ran 9 miles in these last week, pain-free.  The run felt like I was prancing on a cloud, which made me feel like I was on Cloud 9.  Not too shabby.  

It's pronounced Hoka O-nay O-nay, not "Hoka One" #newbie

Let's just say that happy feet + happy mind + happy heart = happy girl.

Emotional biohacking.

Recipe Modifications.

I'd love to say that I'm a whiz in the kitchen, fluttering around in my apron, mixing a "pinch of this" and a "hint of that," eyeballing ingredients and seamlessly making substitutions in recipes as I use what's in my kitchen cupboards.

Truthfully, I am anything but that.  I am a slave to the measuring cups and spoons, pouring the exact amount of vanilla extract and measuring that 1/2 tsp. cinnamon.  And substituting?  Forget about it.  If I don't have all of the ingredients, that recipe can wait until I go to the store.

I am even a tad jealous of how most Asian people can wash rice and use their index finger to gauge how much water to add.  What if your index finger is really short and you don't add enough?  Then it'll be too dry.  Too much?  Then it'll be too soggy.  I'd gladly measure out the water, thankyouverymuch.

So, what's behind all of this?  My type-A nature could be to blame.  I could say that I'm a perfectionist and I like following directions.  But really, the truth is that I'm afraid to fail.

Aren't we all?

I had the pleasure of hearing the amazing Kris Carr speak live this weekend in San Jose, where she talked about her own journey in the kitchen that began with her learning how to boil water.  She told a funny story where she was asking herself, "But what if I mess up the kale salad?  Then everyone will judge me!"  She spoke about how we are all afraid to mess up in the kitchen, but as we continue to experiment with creativity, we build skill sets and confidence.  As a result, the initial overwhelming fear of failing diminishes.  

Lemon coconut flour cookies with chia seeds ('cause, hey...why not?)

A few weeks ago I had some extra lemons and decided to throw all caution to the wind and modify a recipe.  I love lemons- lemon bars, lemon muffins, lemon meringue, so clearly, lemon coconut flour cookies should also be in that fabulous mix, right? I definitely thought so. Miraculously, it turned out well (read: turned out on the cooling racks and not in the trashcan)  and I had happy taste-testers!  My experiment with a basic coconut flour cookie recipe started a new trend in my life- use what you love to be your inspiration, stick to a good basic recipe model that works, and don't allow the fear of failure to stunt your creativity.

And so I have applied this lesson also to my career.  Although I enjoy clinical nutrition in the hospital setting, in a sense, I am now modifying the basic 'recipe' and expanding it to the community sector.  I am so excited to join the staff at Crufit to help individuals become healthier with better nutrition.  If you know me, you know how passionate I am about sports, nutrition, and assisting people on their health journey.  I am thrilled for this opportunity to stretch those muscles more, to take a basic recipe model of sound nutrition, and creatively adapt it to help active adults get healthier.  Crufit is a brand new studio in Montclair with top-notch instructors who specialize in rowing, cycling and TRX.

Crufit's brand new cycling theater- complete with wireless power meters that connect to the main screen!

In the theme of modifications, all you cyclists are familiar with the term RPM- revolutions per minute.  I just attended a 2-day conference this weekend and heard some of the most inspiring and thought-provoking speakers like Dr. Wayne Dyer, Caroline Myss, Kris Carr, Gregg Braden, and Davidji.  

No, that's not Moses.  It's Davidji. 

My favorite speaker was Davidji, who spoke about transitioning from being a crisis meditator to establishing a daily meditation practice.  Meditation is about accessing the space between- the space between our action, our thoughts and our words.  When we can access that space, we connect to our deepest, most authentic self.  How do we do that?  By ritualizing our practice.  By making it a habit, just like brushing our teeth.  So this my friends, is now our new acronym for RPM-

Rise.
Pee.
Meditate.

Like Lance once said, it's not all about the bike.  Go deeper.  Modify your recipes in life.  Get creative.  

Vegan Mac 'n Cheese (aka #yogafail)

First things first- I normally shy away from the word "vegan" since it's such a highly-charged word.  I would much rather prefer to use the term 'plant-based,' but for some reason, "plant-based mac 'n cheese" just sounds strange, not sexy.  

Also for the record, I had grand plans to go to yoga tonight with my favorite teacher Pradeep. His classes land late in the day and go until 9:30pm-ish, which mean I have to plan hard that morning to pack everything (mat, clothes, towels, makeup remover, facewash, waterbottle, snacks, UGG boots, jacket for after class, you name it...).  Once everything is packed in my car, and I am registered online, there's a 99.9% chance that I'll go.

Unless I get inspired.

Which is always the case when I work in close quarters with PK.  This morning she mentioned that she made a vegan mac 'n cheese recipe.  It sounded pretty incredible, and the creative 'cream' sauce piqued my curiosity since it was made from tofu, versus cashews or other nuts that most other vegan mac 'n cheese recipes called for.

I cancelled my yoga class online.  I went to Berkeley Bowl.  I got busy in the kitchen, and the finished product was almost as good, if not better, than relaxing into savasana at the end of an intense class.

Here it is- major props to my fellow dietitian and culinary muse, Praveena.  Not many people can say that they know an intelligent and beautiful plant-powered/ayurvedic practitioner/yoga instructor/dietitian, but I do.  And I get to eat lunch with her everyday.  I know...It's ok to be jealous.  Lucky for us, she shares her delicious recipes...

Meatless Monday at its best!

Vegan Mac 'n Cheese

1/2 pound dried elbow or shell pasta
1/2 c. water
1 c. unflavored soymilk or almond milk
8 oz. firm tofu
1/2 c. canola oil (I used a lot less; adjust to desired consistency)
1 c. nutritional yeast
1/3 c. soy sauce
1 Tb. sriracha sauce (optional)
1 1/2 tsp paprika
1 1/2 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp kosher salt
1/2 c crushed toasted walnuts (optional for topping)

1) Cook the pasta in salted boiling water until a little less than al dente.  Drain, rinse with cold water, and drain the pasta again.
2) Mix the remaining ingredients (except for the walnuts) into a Vitamix or food processor to create the 'cheese' sauce
3) If desired, add roasted broccoli (mix broccoli with garlic, olive oil, salt/pepper and roast for 15 minutes at 425 degrees)
4) Add the sauce and the cooked pasta to a large pot and cook over medium heat until everything is nice and hot, about 5 minutes.
5) Spoon into bowls, top with the crushed walnuts, and serve.  Enjoy!

The Orchestra of Silence.

Last Thursday, my friend and I hiked up Mission Peak.  We started early when it was quiet, and while traversing the upward slopes to the top, we would often stop, pause, and observe the view.  It was nice to be far from all the noise, and even the faint sounds of traffic were barely audible.   We cherished these moments of serenity, which so often become rare treasures in today's hustle and bustle.

Grateful to witness this beautiful sunrise...

After awhile, especially on our descent, many more hikers joined us on the trail.  Most of them looked like they were in high school or college, and their incessant chatter and loud music played from their iphones was a stark contrast to the quiet we had cherished earlier.  A part of me was disappointed that this younger generation was so dependent on their music for entertainment, even in nature.  

Made it to the top!
(and mad props to the person who dragged the xmas tree up to the peak!)

This experience kick-started my desire to run without my ipod recently.  I was on a quest to just soak in the sounds of nature, without distraction.  When you start to pay closer attention to the so-called silence, you can actually hear so much more- the subtle wind, quacking ducks, guns in the distance from the firing range, trickling water, your breath- 

...and this is a reminder that you are alive.

For Christmas, PK gave me "The Gift" by Hafiz, and it has proven to be one of my favorite gifts...filled with inspiring and beautiful words.

One of my favorites which has served to be the theme of my runs this week-

"Stay close to any sounds that make you glad you are alive." -Hafiz

Gentle trickling streams of water...

Cooling down to a cotton candy sunset and the sounds of the gentle wind...

True to my introverted nature, these moments of quiet have been the most rejuvenating and restorative, and I am craving them even more now with the loud and hectic nature of the work place.

...or a quiet trail...

Silent retreat, anyone?

Raising the Bar.

New year.
Clean slate.
What will you create?

Life is art. It is what you create it to be. Unleash your creativity.

During today's ride up the 3 Bears, I was surrounded by good company.  When I was tired and my mind was starting to fill up with thoughts like, "I'm tired now, I'll just spin and recover a little..." all of a sudden I'd hear Brooke's voice- "Fill that gap!  Work your way up to that wheel and then you can relax!"  I'd pedal hard, my heart pounding, and I could still hear her behind me- "If you want to, you're clear- you can pass them on the left and work your way up to that next wheel!"  Her voice drowned out my own debbie-downer thoughts.  I adopted her belief.  I went for it. 

Sometimes having another encouraging voice in your ear makes you better.

Coach gave me some extra little pushes (literally) when I lost momentum up a hill and on the flats when I needed to power up to the next wheel in front of me.  Just having that extra physical help made such a huge difference for me mentally as well.  When I was about to give up, all of sudden, I was back in the game, on the wheel in front of me, and still in the game.  On a healthy team, strong people help the weak become stronger.  They raise them up. 

Tangible lessons.  If you want to become better, surround yourself with people who will push you (sometimes literally) to a higher level and who believe in what you can accomplish, even when your own vision is shrouded. 

Someone asked me yesterday if I had any New Year's resolutions.  I don't.  But I have set my intentions.  2014 for me is all about raising the bar- in all aspects of my life- in my relationships, in my career, in my spiritual practice, in my diet, and of course, in sport.  

Bridges.

"Sport is a universal language, building more bridges between people than anything else I can think of." 

-Sebastian Coe

Base miles with the boys.

10K Swim. (too brain-dead to think of a more creative title)

I am proof that the holidays can make a person a 'lil crazy.  (No, I'm not referring to my recent trips to Target).  I've been pondering what my next  big thing will be on the race calendar for 2014.  So far, nothing stood out.  Then, after listening to Hillary Biscay's race report of Ultraman and how she swam a 10K once a week to prepare for that, I was inspired.  This past year, I raced the Del Valle Open Water 5K swim, and visions of racing the 10K next year suddenly made me excited.  So excited, that I wanted to revisit once again how that distance felt.  The last time I did my 100x100s was in February of 2012.

This time around, I enlisted the support of Coach, who was kind enough to join me for part of it.  He even let me borrow his Phoenix triathlon cap so hopefully some of that Aussie speed in the pool would rub off on me.

Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oi Oi Oi!

We swam at Heather Farms in Walnut Creek since I knew this would take awhile, and the 8-11am timeframe at Dolores Bengston Pool wouldn't cut it.  

Steamy swims under the full moon in the mornings have been the usual at Dolores Bengston.

Heather Farm's pool was too warm and so gross.  I knew it was going to be a long day.  Luckily, longcourse was on the menu for today, which was a pleasant surprise- cutting the number of flip turns in half made the sets easier to digest mentally.

Funny how Instagram filters can make the water actually look clear! #totalfacade

Here's the set, in case anyone is interested.  I found part of Rappster's workout for his 10K swim sets, and I liked the variety that the 400s added.  Honestly, the last set of 3x400 IMs were done with one-arm butterfly drill.  After 7000 meters in, I could barely manage to swim let alone pull out some butterfly.  (maybe next year??)

10x100 (50 drill, 50 swim)
10x100 swim on 1:45 
3 x {400 IM/ 400 pull paddles/ 100 kick/ 100 back}

10x100 (50 drill, 50 swim)
10x100 swim on 1:45 
3 x {400 IM/ 400 pull paddles/ 100 kick/ 100 back}

Have fun, kiddos.

Here's some things I learned in the 3+ hours I spent in the pool today:

1) Company makes things better.  Coach joined me for a bit, and it helped to have someone next to me, count with me, and commiserate with.  When he left, it took more to stay focused and motivated.
2) Be focused on the lap at hand.  I would find myself thinking about the next set and how much more I had to do, and I would want to quit.  Then, I'd bring myself back to the lap and tell myself, "At this moment, I am focused on quality freestyle pull with these paddles..." which brings me to my next point...
3) Quality trumps speed.  I didn't concern myself with pace too much.  I wanted my stroke form to be my first priority- doing an incorrect or sloppy stroke for that far of a distance could cause some serious damage and potential injury.
4) I should have eaten more.  For most of my normal swims (3500-4000 yards), I just drink water or an electrolyte drink.  I started eating my ClifShot blocks around 5000 meters in and felt like I had fallen behind.  When you can feel yourself actively bonking, it's a bad sign. 
5) I felt weird eating.  At the end of each 1000m, I would reward myself with some chews and the girl sharing my lane would just stare.  I felt like the chick at the gym who was drinking a 400 kcal protein shake after doing 30 minutes on the elliptical.  A part of me wanted to say, "Sistalove, pleeease. Put your snorkel back on and mind your own beeeezness- I've been swimming long enough to have shared my lane with 2 different people before you who all did their workout already."  And another part of me just said to myself, "Eat, put your goggles back on, and swim."
6) I feel invincible now.  Why?  Because I swam a 10K?  No, because I swam through a bloody bandaid and a yellowjacket without barfing or screaming.

During the swim and after I had finished, Coach gave me some really good things to think about for the future- about racing vs participating, about how I am still learning what 'my fast' is, and how it's not about the races that you do, but rather how you race them.

So, am I going to race the 10K swim?  I don't know.  It's like asking someone after they complete Ironman if they're going to do another one.  For now, it's back to the drawing board again for me, hopefully with something exciting in the making.

Ask me in a week.